Brunette Bitch (beeduo high school AU)

This doesn't feel right

ⓡ𝓪𝓝Ｂσσ𝓸ⓞỖ𝓸Ø𝐨𝕆ᵒ𝓸ⓄＯ𝐨ᗝⓄØ𝓸σᗝỖ𝔬ＯσσⓄ𝔬ⓞσｏσ𝐎όό𝔬𝔬𝐨𝓞ㄖ𝓸𝕠Ỗ𝐎𝕠Ⓞσό𝓞๏𝔬ⓞσⓞ𝐎Ｏ𝓞ⓞ𝐎Ｏ𝓞Ø𝐎𝓞𝐎ⓞ𝓞𝕆𝔬𝑜όᗝ𝓸ⓞᵒ𝐨๏σ𝐎σσ𝐎𝐨όØㄖ𝕠όᗝⓄ𝕆Ⓞⓞᗝ𝐨Ｏᗝ𝓸ØⓞⓄᵒ𝕆ㄖ𝐎ᗝ𝐎σ๏σ𝕠σｏ𝕆𝐨ό𝓞𝑜ⓞ𝓸σⓞⓞ๏όᗝ𝔬𝕠𝑜𝓸𝐨ⓄᵒＯⓞ𝐨𝐎ᵒㄖＯ𝕠ᗝØỖｏ☆☆ pov:

I can't believe him. The nerve on that guy! I give up my  time, and my  affection, and he stabs me in the back! Heck, I skipped my own sister's funeral to find my "boYfrIEnd" kissing some older dude! If anything, I did all of that! I was kind. I was caring. I was there when he needed me most.(and then he vanished) Now where is he? Where is he to love me, and care for me, to not stab me in the back. I stop walking, Gripping my eyes, trying to stop the tears. I claw at my face, not being able to stop the pains. He stabbed my back, and twisted the knife a million times over, acting all cutesy in the car like he didn't just forever break my trust. I wanted to cry so badly. I wanted to stop. I would rather him laugh at me, make fun of me, so I could cry in the car. I don't want him acting like nothing happened, because clearly something did! I wouldn't be here sitting on the sidewalk, clawing my eyes out, wishing they would just disappear, leave me so I could just stop seeing. It's five o'clock, but people were still staring. Which is fair, but I wish they would just stop. Their judging eyes, their sneering comments. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I wish it would stop, I wish it would stop, I wish it would stop!

"Dude, are you... okay?" A voice high pitched says.

"You're kinda just crying on the sidewalk." They say. I look up and see a black haired boy, in an oversized shirt, and beige cargo pants. An outfit I've seen before. And the way he wears it, makes it look hot. Hotter than when Tubbo wore it...

"O-oh I'm sorry I'll move," I say fast, sitting up, wiping my eyes once more.

"N-no that's not what I meant, I meant, do you wanna go somewhere else?" He asks, kindness flashing in his eyes.

"s-sure, where to?" I ask. I've only just become single, but I can't resist his curled black hair, messy strands falling over his eyes. His outstretched hand, his tanned skin, and pretty smile. Something tells me know, I guess after today my moral compass is messed up because I put my hand in his. And he took me to his apartment. No one was home. There were boxes scattered everywhere. His hand didn't feel quite...right, in mine, but I don't think too much of it.

"Sorry, we just moved in, I'm a sophomore, but my mom just got a new job, and now were here!" He exclaimed, his hand hovering over my wrist, after letting go of, my hand still. I could feel his heat radiating onto me like a still on oven.

"So up here is my room!" He smiles, as I walk into a very undecorated room. There's a single bed, with the foot facing the door. He jumps on.

"Over there's where the desk will go, and, there, a massive bookshelf, cause you gotta love the books, and here, a comfy beanbag. I'll probably put a rug there, and a mini table by the reading corner, and there, probably where I'll put my backpack, speaking of- What school do you go to? Because I'm going t-" My brain tuned him out, and I dropped my bag onto the floor. Just outside of the window, I can see the  Clocktower. Standing there proud and tall, not knowing the sorrow it's causing me. 

"Dude, C'mon!" He exclaims, waving his hand back and fourth over my eyes. I blink multiple times, the tears moving out of the way. 

"Do you want to tell me about your day?" He asks, walking over to his bed, patting the spot next to him. I walk over and he wraps his arm around me, touching my stomach. I'm not comfortable with his hand there. Only one person is allowed to touch me like that, but I guess not even they want to anymore. But still, I get butterflies. I try to remember, was is this... cramped? Shrinking into myself to not me judged. I'm not fat... but I'm scared. I'm trembling? 

"Uhh- I saw my boyfriend kissing some other older dude. And on the drive home, he was acting like nothing bad happened. And like I was crazy or something." I got a little bit more comfortable talking to him, but his arm was still around me was still something I kind of didn't like. I fully opened up to him, talking about my love for him, and how I still miss him. I'm finally happy and comfortable with his arm-sorta, until he pushes me to the bed, pinning me down.

"Well let me make you forget." He says smirking, and right then I'm no longer enthralled with his pretty face.

"Uhh- I'm sorry I don't think I'm quite ready-"

"Shhhh," He smirks more, pulling his gross face to me, his once attractive curls turning into snakes, snakes about to violate me in a way I won't let happen to myself. But I feel myself losing control and I can't get free of this control-less cave. I can't see the end, and there's an avalanche of self hatred closing in. I can't break free, while I'm being used. I hate this and I want to be free. I want to be mine, and one thing I hate the most right now, why do I want to go back to Tubbo?!?

932 words

hihi! special thanks to roxy for distracting me and making me not write for like a few minutes:))