'I'm home' shouted Reece as he hung up his jacket and flung his bag on the floor, kicking off his trainers at the same time. He walked through the open door living room, with a small smile on his face and a big bar of chocolate in his hand. I looked up at him from the cushion on the floor I was sitting on in between Mya's legs as she gently combed my hair.
'Here' he said, handing my the Cabury's milk chocolate bar, 'I know this is your favourite thing to eat when you're sad.' I smiled weakly and muttered a small thank-you, taking the chocolate from his hands, making sure I avoided touching him. He watched me as I took the chocolate and placed it beside me, untouched and unwrapped. I saw his chest deflate as he smiled and walked away from me towards the kitchen - I knew he was expecting me to eat it straight away, like I usually did when I was upset, but this wasn't me being upset. This was me being heartbroken...damaged. I continuously had flash backs throughout the day since I woke up, of the whole night I had with Kieran up until I blacked out, making me relive the moment every second of my life. You hear about rape victims and how they often go into depression, or even worse consider taking their own life. I remember I never understood why they didn't just confess to the police or someone and get their rapist put behind bars. I thought they were spineless and weak, until now. Now I understood why. The fear doesn't just stop when you've the incident has been committed, it continues and haunts you throughout your days. Even though you know they aren't with you, you feel like you can feel them, watching your every movement and just waiting for you to be alone - waiting for them to attack again. That's how I felt now. I guess that makes me weak and spineless.
'Am I hurting you Bianca?' asked Mya stroking my hair. I shook my head and felt her continue to try and comb out the knots in my frizzy hair. I liked being around Mya. She was quiet and leaved me be. As much as I loved Auntie Celine, Marcus and Reece all they did was fuss over me and continuously ask me what happened, making it harder for me to forget what happened to me, whereas Mya treated me semi-normal, just cautious of when she had physical contact with me.
'Mya' I said quietly. I felt Mya pause in combing my hair before carrying on slowly. This was the first time I had started a conversation with anyone
'Yes hunny'
'How do you get over it?'
'Pardon?' she questioned, placing her hands gently on my shoulders.
'How does it...get better'
She sighed, and I felt her hands shake a little as she resumed to combing and oiling my hair.
'You want me to be honest. You don't get over it, there will always be someone out there that will remind you of him or that night. It's not easy, but it's the truth. Constant reminders...constant pain' She began packing up my hair slowly, making sure she was being soft and gentle.
'To get over something like this, you have to accept it' she carried on, I heard her voice break and she sniffed, holding back tears, 'It's not easy, but as soon as you accept what was done to you, the sooner it will get better'
'When did it get better for you?' I asked, pulling at the sleeve of my jumper. I felt her tie my hair up into a bun before she started speaking.
'When I met Marcus. He showed me that not everyone in this world is heartless. He brought back hope and love - things I had lost long ago. You see sometimes someone can break your world and heart, and make your life seem pointless, empty and dark and when you think you've hit rock bottom God sends someone to help fix your life. Its like they come along and with them, they bring light. Light to bring you out of your darkness...light to help things grow. To help you grow'
She brushed my hair one last time before gently placing her shaking hands on my shoulders.
'The only thing required from you is to allow them to let you grow'
