Mr. Left (Mr. Series #2)

Chapter 50

"You don't have to stop your cries. You're allowed to cry," Dad mumbled, which I never expected. He sat down beside me while holding my hand. It made me really cry that he was doing that. He was never like this before.

"It's all my fault. I'm sorry." His voice broke, which made my tears leave me too.

Napatingin ako kay dad. I saw how swollen his eyes were too, but he still managed to hide it.

Umiling ako. "It was mine, dad. If I had never insisted on meeting him, our paths would not have crossed in the first place. Wala sanang madadamay. Hindi sana mamamatay ang anak ko."

He cupped my face with those sincere eyes, asking for forgiveness.

"If I just treated and protected you right, nothing like this would happen, Sheen May. You were right in your letter; I am a terrible father. I became so focused on my business that I forgot that you're my daughter and not one of my assets."

I bit my lip. He looks so different. The way he said those words warms my heart. Making me believe that he's here now for me. Finally, I have a father on whom I can depend.

So after all this time, the letter is in his possession? Nabasa niya ang sulat ko kahit hindi ko pa naman sa kaniya nabibigay? Kaya ba hindi ko iyon mahanap dahil nakita niya na? Nasa kaniya na?

"My letter..." I mumbled.

"I read it. And I have no right to be mad at your husband because I was worse than him. I was blinded by the success."

I saw how the sides of his eyes were now reddish. My father is now in front of me, crying.

"I am really sorry for not giving you all the privileges of our wealth. For not giving you the privilege of me becoming your father. It was I who needed to be blamed for all of these, Sheen May."

His eyes welled up with tears as if he were not afraid of me seeing his weakness.

Sa buong buhay ko, hindi ko pinangarap na makita siyang umiiyak sa harapan ko. It was an impossible sight, but here he is, apologizing.

Niyakap ko siya. I was never privileged to hug him like this, but now I can freely do it.
The love of a father—I can feel it now.

"I promise, no one can hurt you again, Sheen May. No one can come near you to hurt you. Not this time. Not when I'm around."

Umupo siya sa kama at tinabihan ako. "I'm sorry, my child." Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ni gagawin ko. Hindi ko napigilang maluha kasi for the first time naramdaman ko kung paano maging isang anak ng isang ama. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagmamahal na matagal ko nang hindi nararamdaman sa kaniya.

Pinili ko munang mag-stay sa bahay ng mga magulang ko pagkalabas ko ng hospital. Ni hindi pa ako nakakabalik sa bahay namin ni Jhon Rey at wala akong balak. Ayoko pa siyang makita at ayoko na siyang makita pang muli. Masyado pang sariwa ang mga sugat na dinulot niya sa 'kin at siguradong kapag nakita ko siya, magbubukas na naman ang mga sugat na pinipilit kong pagalingin.

Now, I have no child.

And I'm so devastated about it.

It was my Kento, and now he's gone.

Every time I think about what happened, hindi ko maiwasang mapahagulgol na naman sa iyak. Ni hindi ko kayang kumain nang maayos. Ni hindi ko kayang pumasok sa school at magkunwaring okay lang ako.

Anne always visits me here in my room kasi hindi ako lumalabas. Ni hindi ko na kilala ang araw, at kung sumisikat pa ba ito. Kahit minsan ay hindi ko naman yata naramdamang sumikat ang araw para sa akin. Puro dilim lang ang nakita ko sa daan ko. Kaya hindi ko alam na mali pala ang tinatahak ko. Napunta ako sa maling tao. Pinilit ko pa.

Nalaman ko rin kay Anne ang ginawa ng dad ni Jhon Rey sa business namin. The initial suspicions held by both Dad and Derrick proved to be accurate. Jhon Rey's father used the marriage as a way to fool us. He's now taking advantage of the situation because Dad seems to not leave this house either because of what happened to me.

Therefore, the dream that Dad had was destroyed, as was his trust in the other family. I have no details of the said scheme since my problems are too much for me to think about that too.

Lahat ng balita, ibinabalita lang sa akin ni Anne. She is making an effort for me to be updated about the life outside and so I was really thankful for her for doing that, but I don't want to hear it anymore. I would rather concentrate on my own process of recovery. I have to get better first.

"Here, maybe you need to read this." Inabot sa akin ni Anne ang isang libro. It is a book for self-love, which is something that I have neglected to show myself.

"This is the book I read kaya kahit nasa relationship ako, naiiwasan kong gawing mundo ang taong mahal ko. It shows me how to love myself right, and it's not being selfish to love yourself first. Also this," she handed me another book covered in black, not like the previous one, which is in white. "This helped me to identify things and be aware of what is being done to me. All the red flags: gaslighting, love bombing, guilt-tripping, negging, emotional blackmailing, and manipulation—these are the things we never deserved from a man. It is not true love if they do things like these towards us."

Napatingin ako sa librong iyon. Some of the terms are new to me so I get curious.

Umupo si Anne sa tabi ko. "I feel like you need to be familiarized with this for you to move on. For you to know what's real in front of your eyes. "

She tapped my shoulders. "So you can finally bring back yourself to face us outside this room. I hope that you can come back even stronger. Knowing your worth and realizing that you don't deserve anything less than what you get because you're the kind of person who loves with all of their heart and soul, and that's what you also deserve."

Niyakap niya ako bago siya tuluyang lumabas ng kwarto ko. Napatingin ako sa librong huling binigay sa akin ni Anne. It piqued my interest. Binuklat ko iyon at hindi ko inaasahan na sa unang topic palang ay aagos na naman ang mga luha ko.

"The manipulative strategy known as gaslighting is used to obtain more influence by making a victim question their own reality or sanity."

Napakagat ako sa labi ko.
He does this all the time, but I was oblivious to it. He never stops telling clear lies, which causes me to doubt my perception of the world. Palagi niya akong sinisisi kahit siya naman talaga ang may mali.

I continued reading after turning the page.

"Love bombing is a form of manipulation in which the target is inundated with affection and love with the purpose of gaining control over their behaviors."

That is exactly what he did.

The way he treated me well after he proposed. Those times that we're at the amusement park, giving me that dog stuff toy that I like, sympathizing over me when I was crying because of the sudden death of one K-pop idol. Kaya pala, because he's doing that to control me.

I turned my head to gaze at the toy that was resting on my bed. He's got those puppy eyes, and he's looking at me.

I gave him a slap and then crumpled up his face. "After everything your owner did to me, you have every right to be treated like this."

Nang mapagtanto kong wala naman siyang laban sa akin ay itinigil ko na ang pananakit sa stuff toy at nagpatuloy na sa pagbabasa.

"They become agitated whenever you establish boundaries."

This explains why he never stops being angry.

Whenever I put some distance between us, he begins to worry that he may no longer be able to control me.

Hindi ko namalayang natapos ko na ang buong libro. Pati ang self-love book na ibinigay sa akin ni Anne. Mukhang I need to read a lot of self-help books in order to finally see my self-worth. Kailangan pang mag-sink in sa akin ang lahat.

I need to find myself again now that I've lost a big part of me, which is my baby.