𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄 ║𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳

𝐗. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫-𝐠𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠

        I was lying in bed watching, Scream 3 when I hear a ding from my phone, confused because it was 11:00 at night. I picked up my phone and saw on my home screen.

‣1 NEW MESSAGE

look outside

       I pause not really knowing what to do, I'm honestly freaked out and it doesn't help that im watching a scary movie. I quickly click the notification hoping that it was Audrey or something  but it was a much better person

Benny boo-boo bear❤️❤️

look outside

        I feel more at ease when i see its from Benny. I slower move to my window, pull the curtains open and see Benny standing outside my house on the drive way, thankfully it wasn't some psycho that was  trying to murder me. I pull open the window "you scared the shit out of me" i say with a hand on my chest whispering down at him "sorry"  he whispers back putting a hand on the back of his neck chuckling  "Its okay" i say laughing along, "so did you need something or did you just come here to scare me half to death?" I ask mostly joking. "Oh I was walking around and I saw how beautiful it was and it just reminded me of you." He says, looking down.

      I immediately felt a blush come to my cheek, how was this random baseball player so sweet it really doesn't make sense but i'm super grateful he came into my life in the first place. "Anyways i was just wondering if you wanna come and walk around with me, maybe we could look at the stars or just talk?" he asked hopefully, I smile and say "sure" I put on a pair of slippers, i grab my hoodie and my phone. I walk downstairs and out the back door, through my back yard and out the gate. 

       I see Benny smiling still waiting for me on the drive way, I smile back and we start walking to the same park we met at 6 weeks ago. My hand naturally falls into his, remembering the events of Monday and the weird way Benny has been acting the whole week. "What happened this week? I have never seen you strike out. Is something wrong?" I say to him concerned "Oh yeah I guess I've been a little distracted lately" He says, pretty vaguely. "oh okay?" I say still not convinced. "what do you not believe me?" he askes defensively, "No it's just you've been acting different lately, i mean Chase sa-" I saw before Benny cuts me off "Oh my god. you know he's just using you?" he says annoyed.

       "What are you talking about, Chase is really sweet" I say confused, re rolls his eyes "He may seem sweet but he's just a jerk" Benny says, i mean what was he talking about Chase is sweet? "God, you just can't admit that you're jealous I have a guy friend" I say disbelieving his crazy accusation. "No I'm just trying to protect you" he says honestly. "I don't need protecting" I say or almost yell. "I know that. but you can never tell with guys like this" he says looking into my eyes and taking my hands.

      I yank my hands away "guys like this?" I say putting air quotes around the words, "I can"t believe you, you sound crazy Ben. Look if this is what a relationship with you would look like maybe I don't want it" I say. "What do you mean" he askes looking upset. "If you can't trust me enough to let me talk to one other guy than maybe we-" I start but again just get cut off again.

      "Fine. You know what if you don't like me anymore if you wanna go get with Chase, be my guest okay?" He says angerly, "No, that's not what i meant and I don't like Chase like that but I'm sure you just want to go make out with that whore Lola" I accuse seeing the way he'd talk to her knowing she had a crush on him. "Maybe I will then, then we can both be happy" he says and it really hurt I mean I know I just said to go talk to her but that's not what I wanted, I don't know, I was just trying to defend my self but is that what he really wanted did he never actually like me? Did I mistake his feelings and convince myself that Benny liked me, it was probably some stupid bet.

      "If that's what you want fine I won't let you suffer any longer" I say bitterly, "You know that is what I want. Goodbye Freya thanks for being my first crazy ex" he says shaking his head and walking away. I wanted to run over to him and hug him and kiss him but, I knew that he wouldn't want that he'd probably shove me away. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut why do I have to ruin everything what is wrong with me. Did Benny really never like me in the same way that I did. I feel tears roll down my face and I walk home regret every word I said to him.

       I kick off my slippers and I see that Benny's hoodie was lying on my bed still and I quickly throw it into my closet, not wanting to remember anything about Benny right now. I think back to all our little moments together, the night at the park, the carnival, the ballet. I let myself linger in those memories and can't help but let more salty tears run down my cheeks soaking my soft pillow. I miss the way he made me laugh. I miss the way he held me. I miss the way he could light a room in a second. I miss the way he knew just the words to make me blush. We had only been 'broken up' for an hour and I missed every thing about him. But there was three words that were imprinted in my mind, words that I could never say now.

          Sun light drenched my room, flooding in through the white curtains, I hadn't even realized that i fell asleep crying, thinking of Benny. Remembering our fight completely deflated my mood but, I push the thought of Benny to the back of my mind I can deal with that later. I get out of my bed throw on a different pair of slippers as i couldn't bring myself to put on the other ones. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face, I leave my hair in the bun I had in since last night that was very messy now. I walk down stairs to grab something to eat and as I walk in to the kitchen I see my dad. "Dad" I say smiling, I run over to him and hug him "Hi sweetheart" He says holding my head to his chest.

       "What are are you doing here I thought you weren't gonna be home till after new years?" I ask pulling away from him still smiling. "We have some news" my dad says and I see my mom walking into our grand kitchen. I look between them waiting for someone to tell me what was going on "what is it" I ask, "We're moving to London next week."