Red

Chapter Thirty Eight

*Ivy's POV*

The sun was coming in threw the curtains a little, so I knew I had only gotten a few hours of sleep. But I couldn't sleep any longer though, dont get me wrong I love sleep. Having my mates with me and sleeping next to me is great, and I would love to stay here longer. But my head was spinning with everything that has happened. I stared at the ceiling, I wanted to cry, and scream, but for some reason I couldn't.

Damn him I thought as I laid there. I hate him. This is all his fault! No, no, no, im not evil like him and I hate killing. Why? So, so why am I alway killing. Granted the people I have killed they were bad rogues, but still that was blood that never needed to be shed!

I hate this fucking roller coaster ride I call my life. There has been, so many ups and downs and turns. Damn, I feel sick to my stomach and I think I might have whiplash from all of it. Im almost ready to get off the ride, I really dont know how much more I can take of this ride.

I close my eyes again trying to think of a way to get out of bed without them waking up. But lucky me Hunter and Leo had already rolled over letting go of me, so I only have to worry about Chris. I lifted his arm up from around me and put my pillow there. I watched him squeeze it then relaxed again. Now for the hard part, getting off the bed.

I slowly crawled over Leo, making sure I didnt touch him or move the bed to much. I was able to get off the bed, I didnt a little victory dance in my head. But it was cut short when I felt a hand grab mine. I whip around and see Leo with his eyes cracked open looking at me a little worried. He says softer than a whisper to make sure not to wake up the other two, "where are you going?" I bent down kissed his cheek and said "to the bathroom my love, ill be right back, so go back to sleep." Then smiled as he nodded his head and fell back asleep.

I went into the bathroom and did my business, when I was done I looked into the mirror and saw someone else looking back at me. I looked like hell, I thought then chuckled a little. As I came out I saw all three of them still asleep and I smiled a little. But I was no longer tired, and I really didnt want to wake them up yet. So I decided that it was time, it was time I faced going back into my room. I knew I had to do it alone, it was the only way of getting past it.

I quickly and quietly walked to the door, I opened and closed it softly trying not to wake them. I took a deep breath and sighed when I got out and they did wake up. I turned around and then made my way to my room.

As I stood outside my bedroom door, I noticed a note stuck to it. I grabbed it off the door, on the front it said 'little one' I knew it was from Ryan because he is the only one who calls me that. So I opened it up and it read,

'little one,

I had your room cleaned while you were asleep, there is a new bed, and new pillows, and new sheets on it.

I had them trash all the torn clothes and keep the ones that were still good.

Your doors have been fixed and the glass has been picked up.

Little one, I picked up all the papers, and pictures before they did any of the cleaning. And told them if they found any more to put them in the box I left on your bed.

Im so sorry little one, if you need me, all you need to do is call and ill be there.

Love,

Your big bad alpha

I had to hold back tears, when I read the last part. Ryan never apologized, well he does to me sometimes, but no one else.

I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes as I let it out. I took another deep breath again and opened my door slowly. As I walked in I prepared for the worst, but as I walked into my room it looked as if nothing happened lastnight. Everything was in its place, except for all my pictures I had.