Red

Chapter Thirty Four

*Ivy's POV*

My heart felt like it was on fire with how fast it was beating. My nerves were getting the better of me and I was about to back out of what I was going to do. I thought, am I sure I want to tell them how I feel? Or my side of the story of what happened when Nick kidnapped me? Between my heart and my head I thought for sure one of them was going to explode.

I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath bracing myself, I thought its now or never. So I started talking "I know you have questions you want to ask me, and right now I just want you to listen to what I have to say. This is going to be hard for me to say, and there are things you need to know about me first to understand. So I guess I should start from the beginning. "

They nod there heads and then laid them back down on there paws and watched me. I let out another shaky breath and said "when I was growing up, I always felt loved, cared for and to a point, I felt safe." I smiled at them.

"I...well to tell the truth, I wanted what my parents had." I looked at the sky. "They loved each other with everything they had and they showed it, they didnt care what people thought about them. Or even what they had to say." Then I started to frown, "When I lost my mother to cancer, I was heartbroken. I was only eight years old at the time, and I stopped eating and would cry all the time. A few days later, I saw my father crying in his office where he thought I couldn't see him." I took a deep breath again, I didnt thingk it was going to be this hard to talk about. "When I saw him cry I thought, I need to stop crying, and that I needed to be strong for my father. He not only had lost his soul mate, he had lost one of his cubs also. But at that time I didnt know anything about my brother, so I didnt understand why he was so broken. I just thought it was because of my mother. So, I stopped crying and I put a smile on my face everyday just for him, which in return made him smile." I smiled. "I kept thinking, I may have lost my mother to cancer, but at least I still have my father. It was enough to know that he didnt want to leave me to. That he stayed with me, showered me with love, instead of hating me." My smile slowly started to disappear. I could since Ryan, Scott, and Jason off in the distance. They were far enough away for the space I wanted with my mates, but close enough to hear what I had to say. I knew it wouldnt have been long before they showed up, I knew they were worried about me.

So I looked back at the sky with a frown on my face and continued "four years later when I was turning twelve....I....I...." I took a deep breath, "I lost my father to three rogues that day. He was able to kill two of them, but I disobeyed him. I stopped running and looked back, when I did, I watched him get killed by the last rogue standing." A stray tear escaped from my eye, I wiped it away and continued. "I was so angry at the time because that rogue had taken everything from me. I was alone now, I had noone, I wanted to cry and scream. But I couldn't, I just got angry, at the damn rogue, and the more I looked at him the angrier I got. He had taken everything from me that day. Then the next thing you know I.....I shifted into my wolf and kill him within seconds."

I looked down at my hands like they still had the blood on them from that day. I felt frozen, I wanted to stop talking about it, my scares where reopening and it hurt like hell. I closed my eyes, I thought to myself I need to keep talking, and let it out. I was trying to reassure myself that this was the right thing to do. I kept my eyes closed and took another deep breath, I didnt think it was going to be this hard talking about my fathers death. But I continued to tell my story "No one thought it could have been me because of my age, they all thought it was my brother that did it. I had lost everything that day, I had completely shut down, I was numb, as I sat there with my fathers head in my lap I cried. I cried till Ryan found me." I wiped the stray tear that fell from my eye. I rubbed Leo's head, and he leaned into it. Chris and Hunter whimper a little and nuzzled my leg and arm.