To Learn To Love [COMPLETE]

Part Nine

[A/N: I would recommend playing the song before you start reading her POV for full effect! Sorry if you don't like classical music, I personally think it's beautiful and fits well with the emotions of this story :) The video is titled "Bach / Marcello Adagio - Concerto in D minor", you don't have to listen to it! Just good for effect, emotions, and visualisation in your head. Thank you, enjoy!]

- Jin's POV -

I held my head in my hands.

My freezing, sore hands.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to diminish what I had just done. I made everything worse than it already was.

The doctors had stitched him up and rolled him into his room, we were all waiting in the hallway. The other boys trailed in the room, but I sat there.

We have to tell her what happened. I have to tell her what happened. She's going to hate me. But she needs to understand that I did it for her sake.

I checked my phone, it read 4:28am. It was still too early to call her and I didn't want to disturb her sleep, she needed it.

I heard the door open and looked up, Namjoon walked out and closed the door behind him. He sighed loudly and sat next to me.

'The doctor said he won't be waking up anytime soon,' he began, I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block it all out but I couldn't run from reality, 'and... Since his brain was beat up there's a possibility that it could be damaged even more. But we won't know until he wakes up.'

My throat started to ache and the back of my mouth stung with pain, tears filled my eyes and began to overflow.

'I've ruined everything.' I sobbed, I hated hearing my voice while crying which forced me to stop.

Namjoon slowly placed his hand on my back, I flinched at first then relaxed, 'Honestly, you did what any of us would have. She's your best friend, of course you'll fight for her. But you fought a friend, do you think it was worth it?'

I shook my head and sniffed, tears flowed, and my head spun. He removed his hand and gripped my knee.

'Hey, we're all going through a lot right now, everyone's on edge. Your actions are understandable. But it doesn't make them acceptable,' He let go and walked back towards the door, 'I'll tell her in the morning, she'll want to be here.' He opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving me alone in the hallway.

The clattering sound of heels struck the floors of the hospital hallway, I raised my head to see her. I didn't have time for this. I stood up and broadened my shoulders and gave her a pissed look.

'What the hell do you want, pizzeria?!'

She looked at me shocked.

'Get the hell out of here!' I yelled, it wasn't me to yell at girls, it wasn't her fault Taehyung was a brainless dick ever since the accident, but like Namjoon said. I was on edge, and I didn't want to fall off, so she had to leave.

Hours passed and I couldn't bring myself to see him.

- Alli's POV -

I sat in the shower, bare, and exposed to the hot water that flowed, disguising my dripping tears. My eyes were closed and I held my knees to my chest, resting my head in between.

Anything and everything passed through my mind. I was unexplainably numb and empty.

So, so empty.

I could hardly move, I didn't want to. I just wanted to disappear into nothing and leave everything behind, my parents wouldn't mind, my friends wouldn't mind, I didn't have much anyway, and Taehyung wouldn't mind. I just felt lost and trapped in a never ending loophole as the world passed by.

Stupid. Stop being stupid.

After what felt like hours I finally stood up, losing my balance and having to hold the wall of the shower for a few seconds. A ball lingered in my throat and stung the roof of my mouth, my bottom lip quivered as I tried to cease my eyes from releasing more tears. I bit my lip hard. My face fell and I broke into ugly sobbing, once again.

I wasn't just crying because of him, I cried because I felt the ground beneath my feet falling away, the people I loved abandoning me, my bright future dimming to a mere candlelight in a battered shack in the middle of a harsh snow storm, barely holding on by a thread.

It wasn't just about him, it was about me, and my crumbling mind slowly and painfully breaking apart.

Without looking, I turned the water off. It stopped flowing but I was still warm. The bathroom was steamy, causing me to breath heavily. I focused on my chest filling with air and releasing. Before I got in the shower I put my record player on, it was still playing. The song brought back memories, yet again, causing my eyes to water, I tried my best to hold it down.

I dried my body and slipped on a plain shirt and sweatpants before wrapping my hair in a towel. I entered my room and turned to the mirror.

Even after having a shower you still look like a mess.

I sighed loudly and heard my voice shake. It wasn't raining outside, it was sunny but still frosty and cold. I got back into bed, closed my eyes, and heard my phone vibrate over and over.

I ignored it and focused on the music.

- Namjoon's POV -

The sun was finally up and shone through the window.

Taehyung was still under, the boys were fast asleep in random places around the room and I couldn't stand the silence.

As my eyes traveled across the room I noticed a radio at the bottom of a shelf by the hospital bed.

They shouldn't mind.

I walked over to the radio, crouched down and turned it on. It was already on the classical music station, I wasn't sure what the song playing was called but I swore I had heard it before. Someone must've been playing it out loud in the practise room if I remembered correctly.

Satisfied that the silence was slightly broken I leaned back against the wall and began to close my eyes, I hadn't slept since we got here. I wasn't tired, but I did feel heavy. My phone vibrated in my pocket and my alarm rung, out of fright I quickly pulled it out and switched it off, making sure I wouldn't wake anyone up. Holding my phone in my hand reminded me I had to call her.

Slowly, but surely, I stood up and entered the hallway. Jin was still sitting there, head in hands. I dialled her number and waited.

'Come on, pick up.' I mumbled as I held my phone to my ear, biting my nails. I stood in the hallway and paced making a draft which bothered Jin, but he didn't say anything. He had been in the same position ever since we arrived at the hospital. He didn't want to be here, but he didn't want to be anywhere else either.

"Hey! Sorry, I'm busy right now," her voicemail began, "with me!!" Another voice said in the background, I figured it out to be Taehyung, I frowned, "but if you leave a message I'll get back to you! Thank you for calling."

I tried again, and again, and again.

But still, no answer.