Scratches, Bruises, and Bullet Holes (Demi Lovato fanfic)

Present to Past

In the last ten minutes, all Demi has said is that she is so tired she might as well sleep at my house because it's closer. This entire car ride has been awkwardly dead of concersation, the only voices being from the radio playing 'Say Something' by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera. It was total irony, but I guess Demi saw it as a sign and turned it off.

"Why did you come to get me?"

"Wilmer."

"You talked to him?"

"We had a little sleepover."

I look over to the passenger seat where Demi's mouth is gaping and I can't help but laugh. She's cute when in shock, a little less cute when her mouth closes, teeth grit, and eyebrows knit together

"What the-"

"Not like that, Demi. He found me when I was-out- and had me stay at his place because it was really late and I wasn't in a condition good for being quiet."

"Out? Like, at Walmart. You hate people, like Raj from The Big Bang Theory. You can't even talk functionally to people until you have alco-ohhhhh, Carly...." she trails off, finishing her sentence with disappointment rather than words.

I thought I could handle it, telling Demi the only thing I've been doing other than cracking open bottles of Advil and popping them into my mouth in handfuls like Altoids three times a day to get through it. Oh shit, it's not just the alcohol. I can't handle it though, because I have to blink the tears back as the red light were were on turns green and I press on the gas pedal. When she touches my back while I'm leaning in to see the signs off the highway, I lose it.

I start choking on my own tears and I have to pull over on the side of the road to lean over the steering wheel and let out heart-wrenching cries. Each second bringing a new wave of pain and tears, and Demi immediately unbuckled her seatbelt and runs out of the car, flinging open my car door and unbuckling me as well.

With a lot of coaxing and hand tugging, she gets me out of the car and gives me a tight hug while I muffle myself in her neck.

"Shh, it's ok, it's ok. Here me out, ok?" She asks

I nod and she continues.

"I broke up with you because I was impulsive, but you can't go around hitting people. I forgive you for that, but don't do it again, it's assault. This, on the other hand, is a more pressing issue."

I'm being stabbed by the way she looks at me. With so much pity and sympathy. I'm not shattered, I'm steel, not glass, I just have a dent or two.

But maybe I am worse than I think and I'm in denial, maybe Alex is right to be angry other than all the picking up he has to do. I'm a tornado, destroying everything in my path, my life, my friends, my relationships.

"I just, I needed to get through e-everything that had ha-ppened but I just couldn't get it out of my head. " I sob.

"I know, I know, I've been there, remember? We can do this, you can do this. I'm sorry I just got up and left, but I'm here now. Come on, I'll drive the rest of the way there."

I didn't move, I just needed a minute and I could control it enough to drive us home, but Demi wouldn't have it. She picked me up bridal style and set me down in the passenger seat, kissing my forehead before closing the door. She got in the drivers seat and closed the door, pressing on the gas and speeding down the road as she held my hand. We were home a few minutes later, and my tears only came down every so often. Demi turned off the car and looked at me.

"Can you see?"

I nod.

"Ok, let's go inside, yeah?" Once again I nod and she grabs her suitcase from the back and I get out, leaning against the side of the car to wait. Once she gets her suitcase in the ground and closes the car, she takes my hand and squeezes it and we walk to the elevator, to exhausted to take the stairs.

The ride up to my apartment floor is slow and awkward. I have dried tears on my face while holding hands with my ex that is probably only here because I was her ride and she's tired. When the elevator doors open with a few conserving noises, Demi hauls me and her suitcase down the hallway and to my door, where I just stare.

It's unlocked, that I know because even in his biggest rages, Alex has the decency to play fairly and with not only himself but everyone's best intrests. I have my key because it's on the same chain as my car key is, so even if it was locked I could get in. I know what's behind this door though. Three old friends with new questions and a seat in the kitchen for a late dinner and an explanation. Right next to that seat will be another, where Demi will here everything with no filtration from me what-so-ever.

Demi got sick of waiting and opened the door instead, as I assumed, Alex, Riley, and Dana were all sitting in the living room looking at us when the door opened.

"Finally!" Riley said standing up. "Demi, nice to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Hi Riley." Demi smiles sadly, moving me into the apartment and pushing the door closed behind her. "Carly surprised me at the airport and gave me a ride. I said I might as well stay here since we have some talking to do and I'm tired"

"You have no idea" Alex says, standing up and glaring at me. "Go to bed, I'm sure everyone is tired. Carly has been making us all do backflips"

I nod and make sure Demi is behind me when I walk down the hallway. I stop at my room and turn to her, who hesitantly lugs her stuff behind. She may expect me to ask her to stay with me, but that's not fair to her, even though she's right about me thinking about it. I missed her and want nothing more than to be close to her, but I can't. I probably still smell like alcohol, which nearly makes her sick, so I wouldn't get to be near her anyway.

"You can stay in my room, I'll take the futon in t he living room." I say not looking directly at her

"No it's fine, I'll stay on the couch, it's your bed." She counters

"You're the guest. Please, go ahead."

She slowly walks in and puts her stuff down by the dresser where little things such as necklaces and rings lie. Demi's eyes were drawn to the facedown picture frames. I knew what each one held, but Demi didn't stare at them for hours upon hours before and after our separation.

Her hands leave her side and to the first picture, as she lifts it, a picture of me kissing her blushing cheek in a car is revealed from when we were going to the store for her groceries.

Next, is the middle picture, which is a funny picture of us cross-eyed with our tongue sticking out, taken around a month ago.

The last, is one I took, she wasn't paying attention. It was the morning after we made love the first time. Sure there were a select few times after that, but this time she was wearing my extra large New York t shirt I got as a gift from my uncle Matthew. She had no pants on and the photo was taken as she made breakfast, dancing to a song I didn't recognize. She was smiling as she made the eggs and had her eyes closed from a brief moment of letting go in the best and lyrics. Like every morning, she's free of make-up and her freckles uncovered on her face. Unlike most mornings though, when she still her sleep in her eyes and face spotted with exhaustion, she's glowing. The sunlight coming in helps, but the way her hips were swaying to the beat and the balls of her feat tippy toed around the barely familiar kitchen to her just gave off an endless ray of sunshine coming from her and coloring the morning with life and freedom. We were free then, we didn't have the heavy weights of my mistakes keeping us hostage. We didn't have the shackles of stares and glares at each other and other people.

Thinking about it pains my heart, and when the beauty in her early twenties, appearing in all three photos I'm worried I'll crack again. So I walk away, leaving her in the bedroom and me in the living room. As I lay there, staring at the same shade of darkness as Demi not to far away, I think to myself. About us, about the past, the events to lead to this.

Even in heartbreak, together we will stay.
----------------------------------------------sounds a little like Natalie there, as some of you may know her way of thinking. Vote, comment, share and follow if you like. I love hearing your thoughts and what goes through your minds:)

Ps: does anyone else feel like Cool For The Summer wasn't what they though and actually doesn't like it? I'm just not feeling it.