Chapter thirty-six

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"So, is your girlfriend joining us?" Allan, one of my cousins, asks me, throwing himself down on the couch next to me

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"So, is your girlfriend joining us?" Allan, one of my cousins, asks me, throwing himself down on the couch next to me.

My body is overcome with innate panic, thinking about the many times I'll have to explain that no, my girlfriend isn't coming to Christmas because she's gone, maybe never coming back, and also, I'm not really sure she's my girlfriend anymore.

Considering how many people there are in this house, it might be more times than I can handle.

Before I manage to open my mouth and try to explain, Diana hits Allan over the back of his head, hissing for him to shut up under her breath.

I look over my shoulder, watching as she sends him a scathing look. He might only be two years younger than us, but he's always been scared of Diana. "Sorry," he mutters, glancing at me confused.

"Seriously, don't you read the group chat?" My twin asks, crossing her arms once she's done signing, staring him down with all her authority as if she wants to bounce his head around like a basketball.

"What group chat?" I look around the living room. Most of our cousins are gathered here while Mom helps Aunt Charice cook. Even though we aren't related to any of these people, since they're our parents' friends from college and their spawn, we still act like family. And that, apparently, includes lying to each other. I'm met with nothing but guilty looks. "You all have a group chat without me?"

"I'm not in it either," Darcy signs from her spot on the floor, sending Diana evil eyes since it's not hard to figure out who made this chat or why.

My sister wanted to warn the others not to ask about Jen because she thinks I'm one well-meaning question away from a mental breakdown.

She's not wrong, but still. Douche move.

"Because you're a child," Diana says to our younger sister.

Darcy huffs, getting up from her spot and flipping Diana off as she stomps out of the room.

Allan laughs, relaxing a bit now that Diana isn't focused on him anymore. He pats Dakota's head, where she lies passed out in a ball in my lap, completely wiped out from the drive from Nashville to the small town an hour outside Indianapolis, where we're spending Christmas this year. "Sorry, man," he says quietly, eyes flickering up to me. "Didn't know you two had ended things. I blocked Diana ages ago."

The last thing is said in a whisper, but it earns him a pinch to the ear.

"Ow!" he complains.

"Keep it down," I order, adjusting the blanket over Dakota. "We didn't, we're just..."

Yeah, what exactly are we?

"They're living in two different states and pretending like that isn't fucking weird," Janine supplies. She's only three years Darcy's senior but apparently grown up enough to be in the group chat. Or maybe it was created especially for people not in our immediate family, who have been skating around this particular issue for months.

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