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It's been a week since I've seen Elowyn.
In that time, I've decided to leave New York and go back to London, where I'll stay. I can't be here, so close to her. The week that I saw her was one of the worst. I drank until I passed out and I stayed in bed all day.
It's a breezy Sunday evening and the moving crew are packing boxes and wrapping the furniture as I sit in my office. I'm smoking a cigarette as I listen to them talk. The knocking at my door prompts me to out my cigarette. The postal service are holding out a small wrapped box and I instantly know what it is. I hesitate signing for it but quickly do so. I take the box and shut the front door as I stroll back into my office.
My heart is pounding against my chest as I throw back my whiskey. I grab the box and rip the top off of it. It's a hardcover book that isn't too thick but there's still some weight to it. The cover takes me by surprise and I clos my eyes. It's our spot. There's a man and a woman laying on the floor and the sky is grey, rain pouring around them. I slowly open my eyes before I open the book.
Please read the book, Harry. It would mean the world. Elowyn Abbot.
I flip the page and furrow my brows when I see the dedication.
For H. You inspire me so much. I love you.
H? That must be her new lover. I snap the book shut and toss it into the trash can beneath my desk. I walk out to the kitchen to see all of the things have been packed away including my alcohol, besides the beer that's in the fridge. I grab a bottle and crack it open, offering a couple of beers to the movers.
Why would she try to get me to read a book about her and her new lover? Did I really treat her so badly that she'd do that to me? I know I was jealous and I started fights over nothing, but Jesus that's cruel.
I try to continue packing my apartment but my mind is foggy and I decide to head to the bar for something stronger. When I get there, I sigh upon seeing that it's a little crowded. I manage to find an empty seat at the bar and sit, ordering myself a glass straight tequila.
"Is this seat taken, Mr. Styles?"
I turn to see Sharon smiling at me. I send her a small smile as I gesture for her to sit. I bring the glass of tequila to my mouth and carefully watch her as she pushes her arms together, trying to subtly make her breasts pop out.
"So, how are you? How have you been?" She asks.
"Fine. And yourself?"
"Good." She nods.
As I throw back my tequila, I order another, along with a Gin and Tonic for Sharon. We big to talk, or she does. I just sit and listen. She tells me all about her new apartment which isn't too far from mine and how she's stopped modelling now. The longer I listen to her, the more I drink and with the more I drink, I start to think about fucking her again. Sharon and I have fucked plenty of times in the past and I know exactly what's going through her mind right now. She wants me too.
"I'd invite you to my apartment but it's being packed up right now so that's off the table." I send her a smile.
"Oh. You're moving?" Sharon asks, brushing her hair over her shoulder.
"Yes. Back to London, actually. I leave the day after tomorrow." I nod.
"You didn't stay in New York for very long." She frowns, seemingly disappointed that I'm moving.
"No."
"Why?"
"A few reasons." I shrug before changing the subject, "Have lunch with me?"
She nods and I quickly pay for our drinks and we leave the bar. As she starts talking again, I don't listen. My mind is stuck on the thought of getting her into bed. I glance to my left and see an empty alleyway. I pull her into it and push her against the wall. I cup her face roughly as I smash my lips to hers. This is the first time I've kissed anyone other than Elowyn.
"Let's go to my apartment." Sharon suggests.
I nod before kissing her again. Her building is closer to the bar than mine is and we continue to kiss in the elevator as I shover her against the wall, her moaning in my mouth. I try not to think of Elowyn as my hands travel down Sharon's body. She pulls me into the apartment and I close the door behind us.
"Do you want something to drink?" She asks.
"Wine, if you have it."
"I assume you aren't seeing anyone." She raises her brows as she pours our drinks.
"No." I shake my head as I grab the glass from her, "Are you?"
"No."
"Let's not waste any time then." I smirk.
She pulls my sweater off leaving me in my black t-shirt and jeans. I unzip her dress, letting it fall from her shoulders as I kiss her. We move to the bed and I push her on it as she reaches for my shirt.
"Leave it on." I shake my head.
"What?" She frowns, "I want to see you."
"Please." I furrow my brows, "Leave my shirt on."
She nods slowly and reaches for my belt buckle, unbuckling it quickly. I tilt my head back and moan as she takes my cock into her mouth. It's been so long since I've let a woman touch me. I start to think of Elowyn as Sharon looks up at me. I close my eyes and wrap my hands in Sharon's hair. She stops before I can cum and I push her so she's on her back before I climb over her.
"Condoms?"
She points to the nightstand and I quickly grab one, rolling it over my cock before pushing inside of her. It doesn't take long for her to cum and I'm quick to follow, already having been close to my high from when she sucked me. I pull out of her and tie the condom, throwing it in the trash before pulling my boxers up along with my jeans.
What the fuck have I done?
"I should go." I say quietly as guilt runs through me.
"Oh." She furrows her brows, "So soon?"
"Yeah. I need to get back and... finish packing."
I grab my sweater and light a cigarette as I walk home. When I finally get into my apartment, I see that all of my things are gone. They'll be in London by the time I get there. Only my bed remains in my bedroom as well as a few clothes for the next few days. I quickly strip out of my clothes that now smell like Sharon and I jump in the shower, scrubbing myself clean.
I don't know why I feel so guilty. I mean, it's not as if I cheated on Elowyn. She left me. So why does it feel like I'm doing something wrong?
I fall face down on my bed and wrap my arms around the pillow that Elowyn always used. I press my face into it and it muffles the sound of my cries.
