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I wake up to the sound of thunder. I slowly roll onto my back as I huff out a breath. It's almost six in the morning and I'm surprised I didn't sleep longer. I walked to the liquor store last night and bought a couple bottles of whiskey and drank them until I ended up passing out.
What happened yesterday floods through my mind and I cringe as I light up a cigarette. How the fuck could I be so stupid? Why did it have to be Sharon out of everyone? I hadn't been with anyone in over two years, the last woman I let touch me was Elowyn. Last night, my cock did the thinking for me.
Once I've finished my cigarette, i wash my face and brush my teeth before pulling some sweatpants on. As I walk to the kitchen, my phone starts to vibrate in my hand.
"Hello?" I furrow my brows as I answer my sisters call.
"Did I wake you up?" She asks.
"No. What's up? Is everything okay, Jen?" I ask.
"Uh, yeah. Did you... read her book?" Jenny asks hesitantly.
"Elowyn's?"
"Yes."
"No. And I'm not going to, so don't start with that again, Jenny." I sigh, "Why does it matter if I've read it anyway?"
"I... don't really know how to explain it. I finished reading it about half an hour ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it. It feels like your book, Haz."
I sit down, not saying anything as a frown takes over my face. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I know Orlando told me that it's a love story and it was sad but there are hundreds and thousands of books just like that.
"Harold? I didn't call you to say something and sit in silence." Jenny says and I can practically hear her rolling her eyes.
"Right. Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out what you mean." I clear my throat.
"You know how when I read Canyon Moon, I knew straight away that it wasn't fiction?"
"Of course. You nearly took my apartment door off it's hinges when you came to ask me about it." I chuckle quietly.
"Right. I don't think her book is fiction either, Haz. The way it's written... it reminds me so much of Canyon Moon." She whispers.
"I... I dont care, Jen. I'm not reading her book. She sent me a copy and it's in the trash, where it'll be staying."
"Did you look in it?" She asks after a moment of silence.
"Skimmed through it. There isn't a reason for me to read it, Jenny. Just drop it." I huff out an annoyed breath.
"No. Did you read the dedication?" She replies.
"Mhm."
"So you saw it?" She exclaims.
"Yes. And once I saw it, I threw the book in the trash. I'm not reading some stupid fucking book that's dedicated to her new lover, Jenny." My voice raises slightly.
"Are you really that fucking stupid, Harry Styles?" My sister scoffs making me frown.
"Oh, thanks a lot, Jen." I roll my eyes.
"You're such a dickhead, honestly. What's the first letter of your first name?" She asks.
"H?"
"Exactly!" She yells and I move the phone from my ear for a moment.
"It's not dedicated to me, Jenny. Don't you remember that she left me?"
"So, she writes a book about a woman who has an affair with a famous author, they fall in love and then their affair ends when he's nearly killed after getting shot. Do I seriously have to hit you in the head until you realise that it's for you!?"
No. There's no way it's for me. Jenny's reading it all wrong. Elowyn would never do something like this, knowing that there's a chance people would find out. Including her husband who published the book for her.
"Haz? Are you there?"
Before I can reply, my buzzer goes off and I stand up.
"I'll call you back, Jen. Love you."
I put my phone down and press the buzzer.
"Yes?"
"Hi. There's something here for you, Sir."
"I'll be down soon."
Pulling on a hoodie and some shoes, I make my way down to the lobby. The doorman who's now behind the desk hands me a box wrapped in brown paper with my name scrawled across the top. I thank the doorman before going back up to my apartment. I hesitantly open the package and my breath gets caught in my throat. It's her journal. As I slowly open it, a pink post it note falls out.
Harry. You said you wouldn't read my book and I know you meant it. You were always so stubborn. I couldn't sleep last night because I think I've come to the conclusion that it really is over between us. Please read through my journal, I want you to know why I left. I will always love you. So, so much.
Yours always, Elowyn.
My hands start to shake as I finish reading her note. I slowly flip through it and see that the first entry date is from the night we first met and the last entry date is only a few days after I was shot. Taking a deep breath, I flip to the first page and start reading.
