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Sleep isn't the same anymore

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Sleep isn't the same anymore.
It's something that I've been deprived of
for a long amount of time.
But it is also the only form
of escape from this wretched world.

Going through the
same fuc*ing cycle every
single day, the same thoughts
and the same people.

You know what I hate more than
anything in this world?
My own self, because I let
people around me affect the way I act.

It seems as if I am standing on the
sidewalk, and my life is just
passing by in front of me.

They say that life is short.
Then why isn't it ending yet?
Why am I stuck in this hellhole?
Like a loop. Never ending.

I no longer have the energy to do anything.
The only thing that even
remotely helps me with writing, but
even that I have to hide.

I am so tired of hiding every single
thing I do, but it's not like I have a
choice. I saw what happened when
the other person told you, it was even worse.

Scars on my body remind me of the past.
People around me pressure
me about my future.
The present is already killing
me slowly.

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Thank you so much for reading :)

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