You're Supposed to Hate Me

Chapter 20

Travis

I remember just about two months ago I was staring at a mirror, staring at myself and absolutely hating everything about me from head to toe.

I remember crying when it came time that I had to bleach my hair again. But now I'm staring at myself, my hair completely buzzed off.

I reach up to touch it for at least the fifteenth time in only 5-10 minutes, and Sal was behind me, observing my new hair as well.

I wanted to do this, I knew it needed to be done. My hair would grow back eventually, and it'd grow back healthier than it's been in years.

"I look stupid." I glance at Sal through the mirror, and he meets my gaze.

"You don't look stupid, Trav." He rolls his eye, shoving my head forward as he steps out of the bathroom, and I follow him.

A few days ago when Sal's dad came back was quite... Interesting. He wasn't surprised that Sal was gay, and I did see the alcoholic side of him, only for a little bit before he disappeared back into his room, locking the door behind him.

We did talk. We talked for a few minutes when Sal went to the bathroom. Fortunately he was sober during our conversation.

"Sal is a good son." He mumbles out next to me, his hand running over his face. "Treat him well."

I glance at him, I knew it I shouldn't ask, but it was eating away at me like a bug. "What happened to him?"

He laughs, but I could tell it was forced. "He didn't tell you?"

I shake my head awkwardly.

"I blame myself every second I look at him. It's my fault he didn't grow up with a normal childhood, and I blamed him for my mistakes." Henry sighs, his eyes shutting as he leans his head back against the couch.

"When the time comes, when he does tell you about his childhood, you'll understand what I mean." He then stands up, disappearing into his room at the same time that Sal walks out of the bathroom.

I think about that conversation often, even though it only happened a few days ago. I glance at Sal, the same question eating away at me.

"Ask away." Sal looks back at me, a small smile on his face before he turns away, grabbing cat food for Gizmo.

"I know you might not be ready for me to ask but–"

Sal sighs, pouring some food into Gizmo's bowl before turning and walking towards me. "I've been ready for awhile, I just hate talking about it."

I reach out, gently grabbing his hand, his hand intertwining with mine. "You don't have to tell me, I'm sorry if I'm being pushy about it."

Sal smiles, leaning forward until he's resting his head on my shoulder. "As you've already noticed, my mom isn't with us."

I nod, and he continues, "When I was...

Sal Flashback

My family always loved picnics, and so did I! I love the feeling of grass against my bare feet, the smell of nature, the sound of the birds, the trees, but most of all, my parents!

Dad went to go get something that we forgot in the car, so it was just me and mom hanging out. Today we went farther into the woods than usual because I wanted to see the little stream of water that flows through the woods.

I hear the faint sound of a dog barking in the distance, my head turning in the direction of the dog. "Mommy! Do you hear the puppy?" I run over to her, jumping up and down, a huge smile on my face.

She smiles, laughing softly. "Yes, I hear the puppy, Sal."

"Can I go see it?!" I tug on the sleeve of her dress, and she slowly stands up.

"We should wait for your father to get back, he'll get worried." She smiles, glancing in the direction where he disappeared from.

"But it'll only be a few minutes! Please mommy!!" I pout, and she slowly gives in, making me smile wide.

We walk towards the sound of the barking dog, but when the sound gets louder and louder until it sounds like we're right on top of it, there's no dog in sight. No–

"SAL!"

A loud scream echoes in my ears, and I want to cover my ears, I want it to stop, I want it all to stop. Until it does.

I hear someone screaming my name and my mother's name in the distance, all I can feel is a faint pounding in my head, and I could barely see. All I can see is red.

Red. Everywhere.

~~~

I hug Sal close after he finishes his story. He also told me that his father didn't even notice the fact that Sal had blood all over his face, blood pouring down his face and on his shirt and the grass. All he noticed was his dead wife, not his almost dead son.

Sal also told me about the day when he got his prosthetic.

Now I understood why Henry said what he said. And I'm disgusted.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, and he moves closer to me, his hands clutching my shirt as he hugs me tightly.

Guilt floods through my body, into my blood, into my bones.

I remember a story my father told me when I was a kid, a story I long forgot until today.