You're Supposed to Hate Me

Chapter 21

Travis

I stare at the plate in front of me, the plate that had a greasy pizza on, and I look up.

I look up, my eyes landing on Phillip across from me, laughing at something Larry said, and Lisa was sat next to me on my left, Larry on my right.

When I look at Lisa she instantly looks at me, and it almost makes me tear up.

It should've been my mom sitting there, but she never took us for pizza, so Lisa stepped in.

Remember how I said that Lisa looking at me almost made me tear up? Well, I guess thinking about my mother is what did it for me.

I instantly look down, avoiding everyone's gaze as a tear falls onto my the back of my hand in my lap, my heart pounding as if I just ran a marathon.

But I didn't. All I did was think about the mother that I've forgotten so much about... Except for the day she died.

I flinch as I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I knew it was Larry because he was on my right, and the hand was on my right shoulder.

"You've made it far, Travis." Larry breaks the awkward silence that I caused, and I glance up at him, a small smile on his face. "She'd be proud of you, man."

This is why I pushed myself away from Larry. Because he was too nice to me. I don't deserve a friend like Larry, and I know it. He was so nice that I just–

I feel arms wrapping around me, and that's when I realized I was full on crying now. Larry has always been a touchy person, so I knew it was him that was also hugging me. I also knew it was him from the smell of cologne that he sprayed all over himself to try and mask the smell of cigarettes, which didn't work because I could smell that, too. Oddly enough, it was comforting.

Lisa and Phillip stand up as well, walking over and hugging me too. I've never been so glad that we decided to take the pizza to go.

~~~

I was helping Lisa do the dishes while Larry and Phillip talked away on the couch, both of them smiling and laughing occasionally.

"You didn't have to help me, dear." She speaks as she dries a plate before putting it in a cupboard.

"I know, but I wanted to." I reply, a small smile on my face. "Can I ask you something?"

Lisa nods as she looks at me to tell me I have her full attention.

"You knew, didn't you?" I look at Phillip and Larry still on the couch before I look at her, and her eyes tell me everything I needed to know.

She swallows, then she sighs, running her hand over her face. "Yeah... Yes, I knew." She grips the counter, looking down at her hands.

She looks at me, her eyes full of guilt and sadness. "I truly wanted to say something... But you know as well as I know– You probably know better than I do, that Kenneth is a scary man. Always has been, always will be."

I slowly nod, my fists clenching as my nails dig into my skin in attempt to calm my nerves.

"I always knew something was off about him. I told your mother not to get with him... I begged her. But she promised she'd be fine.

"She came to me the first time he hit her. We were only 28, and we were both scared and didn't know what to do. Your father has always been a powerful man, and the town loves him. We didn't think they'd believe us." Her voice was barely above a whisper, her eyes glossing over with tears.

I couldn't speak, because I knew if I did, I'd probably start crying again.

She notices my silence, but she continues. "I told her I'd help her if she ever chose to run away... But then she got pregnant with you, and she knew we wouldn't be able to afford to take care of ourselves and a child. So she stayed.

"She loved you a lot, Travis. She just got so tired... I wish I could've helped her, helped you, but I was scared, myself." She shakes her head, blinking back the tears before she looks at me, reaching up to touch my buzzed hair.

"Once your hair grows out, you'll look a lot like her." She smiles softly, "If you ever need anything, I'm always here for you, Travis."

She then walks away into her room, and I had to take a moment before joining Larry and Phillip on the couch.