If This Isn't Love

26: JANUARY 2018 - Denial

"So when they offered an apartment, how could I turn them down?" Namjoon was talking animatedly about his new job in Dallas. He was the new financial whiz kid at Omni Wise Bank where Hoseok had his account. "I think it's finally falling into place. All those things we used to talk about back in college. It seems all of us are finally finding our footing." His smiling face looked around the table.

Hoseok nodded before taking a sip of his beer. "Yeah. Yoongi's been put in charge of Dallas Diamond Records. My dance school has reached maximum capacity for the second semester in a row, and Jin is the art director at Art on Demand."

"One of the art directors," Seokjin corrected with a smile.

The fourth man at the table was Namjoon's cousin Jeon Jungkook. The bright-eyed young man smiled. "Wow. All of you are doing so well."

"Not only that," Hoseok continued, "but I think Yoongi is going to propose to Selina any day now. He's been looking at rings."

Seokjin coughed. "What? He hasn't said anything to me."

"To me either," Hoseok said. "I borrowed his laptop last week while I was at his place and noticed he'd been searching up engagement rings. I said nothing, but what else could it mean?" He paused and glanced at Seokjin. "Oh. Uh, sorry, bro."

The others turned to Seokjin with serious faces.

Jungkook looked around at them. "What happened?"

"Jin just got out of an engagement," Hoseok said softly.

"Oh, that," Seokjin said with a shake of his head. "Don't worry. I'm not going to start crying or anything. If Yoongi wants to get engaged, I'm happy for him. Truly. It has nothing to do with me and doesn't affect me."

There was a long pause before Namjoon cleared his throat.

"So, may I ask what actually happened?" he asked softly.

With a sigh, Seokjin told them briefly that Emily got tired of waiting for him to agree on a wedding date and concluded that he didn't really want to get married.

"Was that true?" Hoseok asked.

Seokjin shrugged. "I guess. I mean, if my heart was really in it, I would have agreed on a date, right? I feel bad for being a dick to Em, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn't picture a future with her. It was okay while it was in the present, but I didn't see us long-term. I know it seems shitty of me to have broken up with her after she went into remission. But once she got better, I felt as if I'd been liberated. I guess I'm an ass."

Namjoon shook his head. "I don't think you're an ass. It would've been worse to marry her out of obligation. If you didn't feel that way about her, I think it was for the best that you called it off."

Hoseok nodded. "You did stay with her all through her treatment. But Joon's right. It was better to break it off if you didn't truly feel the same. Better to be a dick for a few days than a dick for a lifetime." He took another drink of his beer.

Seokjin nodded. "I guess you're right." He felt a little better after his friends validated his decision. His eyes glanced around the place. Tavernesque was one of those upscale, young adult places with a decent enough selection of appetizers to pass itself off as a restaurant when it was really mostly a bar.

After a few minutes, Yoongi walked in, looked around, and headed for their table.

"Glad you could make it," Hoseok said after they greeted each other.

"Hey," Namjoon greeted him. "This is my cousin Jeon Jungkook. He's in town for a few months for work."

"Hi," the young man said with a wide smile. "I'm glad to meet all of Joon's closest friends. He always says he had the best time with his friends in college, but that he doesn't get to see you all much."

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Yoongi asked as he signaled to the waiter by lifting up Hoseok's beer bottle.

"It's too bad we didn't get together for Christmas," Hoseok began. "It's too bad because last year's party was unforgettable."

"What happened?" Jungkook asked with a smile. "Crazy shenanigans?"

Yoongi shook his head. "It was unforgettable because it was quite the shit show. Luisa Cruz hosted it, but her jackass date ruined the night by showing up drunk and aggressive. He hit her, and Jin wanted to take his head off."

"What the hell?" the young man exclaimed. "Hit her? I hope she was okay. That guy must've been some loser."

Namjoon nodded. "She used to date some pretentious idiot back in college, right? Was it the same guy?"

Seokjin exhaled noisily. Everyone got quiet as the waiter brought Yoongi's beer.

"No," Hoseok replied. "That asshole from college dumped her, remember? It was that night when she and Seokjin—"

"It wasn't the same asshole," Seokjin cut him off. He didn't want to get into a discussion of what happened all those years ago.

"Right," Namjoon said, noticing the handsome man's scowl. "I guess the girl makes bad choices. And she's so pretty, too. Well, it's too bad you and Luisa didn't end up together. You two looked like a couple at the fair," he said to Seokjin.

"You dated her?" Jungkook chimed in.

The handsome man shook his head. "No. We never dated. We're just friends. I don't think there was anything there beyond that one night."

"Knock it off, Jin," Yoongi said. "Don't deny it. You've been hung up on her for years now."

"I have not," Seokjin snapped.

"Yeah," Hoseok agreed, smiling widely. "It must've been some night. Definitely more than just a hook-up."

"That's what I said," Yoongi added, and Hoseok clapped in agreement.

"You slept with her?" Jungkook asked, his eyes round.

"Let's not talk about that." Seokjin's voice took on a deep tone. His expression made it clear that the topic was off-limits.

"That's why you're in this mess," Yoongi said. "You never want to talk about it. Selina thinks that—"

"I'm sorry, Yoongi, but I don't care what Selina thinks," Seokjin interrupted him, causing Yoongi to scowl at him.

"There's no need to get angry."

"I'm not angry," Seokjin insisted. "It's just that...never mind. Nobody knows anything about us, so I would like for you all to stop speculating. Okay?" He reached for his wallet and took out some bills, which he placed on the table.

Feeling everyone's eyes on him, he sighed. "Look, thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. It's late, and I have an early day tomorrow. I'd better leave before I end up drinking too much. I'll see you all soon. Good night." He got to his feet and walked out.

"What the hell was that about?" Namjoon asked, staring after Seokjin.

Hoseok shook his head. "That is a man in denial. And if someone doesn't do something, he's going to drown in it." He smiled. "Get it? De-nial? As in the Nile. Drown?" He broke into loud laughter.

Yoongi sighed. "You're drunk, Hoseok. Maybe you should head home, too."

Hoseok looked insulted. "Well, that was uncalled for." He paused. "But Jin really is denying his feelings. Maybe we should do something to open his eyes."

"With his looks, he could have any girl he wants. This girl must be something special if he's still broken up about it," Jungkook said. "How long has it been?"

"Three years, I think," Namjoon answered.

"Let's not interfere," Yoongi said. "That idiot will have to figure things out for himself. It's best that we stay out of it. You heard him."

"Yeah," Hoseok nodded. "But what if he realizes things too late?"