If This Isn't Love

32: JULY 2018 - Once A Long Time Ago

Seokjin had just entered his apartment when his phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket and grimaced when he saw who it was. He was tempted to ignore it, but he dropped his briefcase on the floor and pressed the answer button.

"Hi." He kept his voice casual and pleasant.

Lydia on the other end, however, was not quite pleasant. She was talking so fast that he couldn't keep up with her. She was still angry about his rushing away from the wedding reception two weeks ago. He should've handled that better, but at the moment, his only concern had been Luisa. Perhaps calling Lydia from the airport had not been the best way to tell her that he had left.

Of course, now the problem was that he'd told her with plenty of time that he was planning to go back to Luisa's town in the Texas Rio Grande Valley to take her the items that her friends had packed for her. On the night of her father's accident, Luisa had just mindlessly stuffed a small bag with a few essentials. Now that she'd been at her parents' place for two weeks, she needed some clothing. Seokjin had offered to take it to her because he also wanted to check on her father. So, now he was tiredly listening to Lydia's tirade about his leaving.

"I can't believe that you'll just fly off at a moment's notice for her without ever considering me," she said.

With a sigh, Seokjin sank onto his sofa. "I'm just taking her a few things and—"

"Why does it have to be you?"

"Because I'm her friend."

"What about her actual friends?"

Seokjin frowned. "What do you mean her actual friends? I'm her actual friend. I don't know what the problem is or why you're talking to me this way."

"Is she only a friend?"

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "She's a friend. I'm helping her out during a difficult time."

"Really? She's just a friend? That's why you're flying off to see her?" Her tone made it clear that she doubted him.

He felt his temper rising. "She's a very dear friend."

"I don't believe you. I think there's something more. I think that you're sleeping with her and...and—"

"Stop speaking nonsense," Seokjin interrupted. "I just got home, I'm tired, and I'd like to get some rest."

"You're lying. She's not just a friend, is she, Seokjin? She's the one, isn't she? The one you've been lusting after. Did she finally give in?"

"Stop. I'm tired. Can we talk later?"

"No, you answer me right now. Are you fucking her? Is that it? She's your little fuck buddy? That better be all she is."

"I'll warn you not to use that type of language about her." He could feel his face heating up in anger. "That's enough."

"Fine! Go do whatever you want to do with her. I suppose men have to do those things. But make sure you come back to me. I mean it."

He took several breaths, trying to control his anger. "Listen to me. Don't ever speak badly of her again. Luisa is one of my oldest friends. You, on the other hand, are no one. If anyone's a fuck buddy, it's you. Don't give yourself any more importance."

"How dare you!"

"And one more thing," he went on. "I think whatever we had has run its course. I didn't sign up for this. I tried to be nice. Please don't call me again, Lydia."

"Seokjin!"

"Goodbye," he said and hung up the call. Almost immediately the phone rang again. It was her. He rejected the call and then silenced the phone. Who the hell did she think she was, ordering him about? How dare she speak that way about Luisa? She was no one to make such comments or insinuations.

He fumed for a few more minutes before getting up and fixing himself a quick meal. Namjoon had said he'd pick him up at 8 PM to take him to the airport, and it was 5:30 now.

Later, in Namjoon's car, Seokjin went over what had transpired with Lydia. He hated having to be cruel, but she just pushed him too far.

"What's wrong, bro? You worried about your girlfriend?" Namjoon asked with a grin.

Seokjin shook his head. "I told you that Luisa's not my girlfriend."

"Uh," Namjoon paused a beat. "I, uh, meant Lydia."

"Yeah. She's not my girlfriend," the other man replied.

The taller man snuck a glance at his friend. "Yeah, but you said Luisa's name."

"What? I didn't."

There was a minute of awkward silence.

"Anyway," Namjoon said loudly. When his friend didn't reply, he went on. "So, you and Lydia are over?"

"Seems so," Seokjin said.

"Care to elaborate?" Namjoon asked, drawing out the question.

"Hm. She was becoming too possessive. She was ordering me not to help out Luisa, stuff like that." He shook his head. "She said some stupid things, accusing me of sleeping with Lu, so I told her that it wasn't working anymore and told her it was over. Shit. Why do they always get crazy like that?"

Namjoon chuckled. "Must be because you're so handsome, bro. You drive all the girls crazy."

Seokjin scoffed before joining in the laughter. "Well, I don't want crazy. I want normal. I want a girl who's smart and funny and caring and...and..." He sighed.

"Good in the sack."

"Yeah...I mean no! Well, not only that," Seokjin said, shaking his head. "It seems easy to find a lover, not so easy to find one who can also be a friend." He leaned his head back on the headrest as he looked out the window. In his mind, he knew he had someone like that. Once. A long time ago. But perhaps it was lost forever.

With another sigh, he shook his head. "Once. A long time ago," he whispered.

Namjoon knew better than to ask what he meant.