If This Isn't Love

59: JANUARY 2023: Marry Me

Luisa bit her lip, struggling to find the right words. "It's been...almost four years."

Seokjin nodded, his expression grave.

"But you admitted to sleeping with Youngsoon and that you were going to marry her," she said, the words feeling almost like a confession to herself.

He gently cupped her face in his hands. "I am truly sorry for that. It was shameful, and I betrayed your trust because I was foolish and weak. I can't express how sorry I am."

She looked up at him, hurt still fresh in her eyes. "I was so devastated to think you could so easily share yourself with another woman while claiming I was your only one."

Inhaling deeply, he pressed his forehead to hers. "I will spend the rest of my life making amends. You're the only one I love, the only one I desire. I have no excuses for what happened with Youngsoon; offering reasons would only diminish the sincerity of my apology."

She swallowed hard, her heart racing. "Why did you sleep with her? Did you actually have feelings for her? Just tell me what happened."

"I'd prefer not to delve into that," he replied softly. "It doesn't matter now."

"So, you did have feelings for her," she pressed, frustration creeping into her voice.

He shook his head. "I don't want to discuss it because I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have."

Luisa let out a frustrated sigh. "You might as well tell me. It's been eating away at me for so long. Just tell me what happened." When he remained silent, she rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Fine. I'm done. I'm out." She wrenched herself from his grasp and stepped back, creating distance between them.

"Wait! I'm sorry! Please, don't go," he pleaded, desperation in his voice. "I didn't want to bring it up because she's Taehyung's wife now. I promised her I'd never speak of it again."

"And what about your promises to me?" she snapped, raising an eyebrow. "I guess those are expendable."

With a loud exhale, he nodded and sank onto a nearby chair, gesturing for her to join him.

"It was all supposed to be a pretend engagement," he began, eyes cast down. "Taehyung was in love with her and wanted to marry her, but her father insisted she marry me, the heir to the company. Long story short, Youngsoon became too attached during our charade, and one day she..." He paused, gauging her reaction before continuing, "...asked me to sleep with her."

Luisa turned her gaze away, her voice strained. "And so you did. Just like that."

"No," Seokjin replied, shaking his head. "We didn't... well, we didn't have intercourse. She was a virgin, and I knew that if she went back to Tae, she would regret her impulsive decision."

"So you didn't...?" Hope flickered in Luisa's eyes.

"I won't lie," he cut in gently. "There was... sexual activity, just not... that."

"Why won't you tell me the details?" she pressed.

He closed his eyes, exhaling sharply. "Lu, does it even matter?"

"If it doesn't matter, then why not just tell me?" she shot back.

"Are you going to tell me about sleeping with Charlie?" he countered.

She blinked, caught off guard. "You're changing the subject. If you want me to share about Charlie and me, I will." She paused, leveling her gaze at him. "But only after you tell me about Youngsoon."

With a defeated drop of his shoulders, he nodded. "Okay. As you know, I'm very skilled with my fingers." He sighed.  "Please let's never talk about this again." He pressed his lips together. "I don't want to hear about you and Charlie."