Changed

twelve

Zee feels like his heart has been thrown to the wall and stepped on a couple of times. He had his fair share of rejections and nothing ever felt like this. To make the matters worse, this is not even a love confession rejection.

He stared at the window as he lets his head over think. He wanted to turn around and face Nunew but he knows that once he does, he would pull nunew towards him and hug him. And he's afraid that Nu might think that he is being too clingy or too possessive or just basically too much for him. He doesnt want to lose Nunew so as much as this hurts him, he withdrawn himself from the younger man.

All through out the movie, all he wanted to do was to cuddle up with Nunew. But he doesnt want to appear like he's stepping too much into his personal space. When he saw that Nunew was cold, he wanted to warm him up but yet again he doesnt want to over do things so he just gave him a blanket.

And now that they are in bed, he wants to hug him to sleep but he doesnt want to over step his boundaries. He's scared to upset Nunew. He's scared of losing Nunew. So if this is the only way to keep him, he will do it even though it feels like he's stepping on his heart every single time he moves away.

Zee just continued to stare at the window. He knew he wouldnt get a wink of sleep tonight. He sighed. How he wish he could hold Nu in his arms just like before. He knew he made a mistake. He shouldnt have been so playful. He knew Nunew would probably get angry and yet he still did it. He became too complacent, too relaxed. And now he's reaping what he sow. He's shredding his own heart and he cant do anything about it.

Zee was biting his lip when he felt Nunew lean on his back. He got surprised so he froze. He stayed still even in he has the urge to reach for him.
He then felt his back starting to get wet.

Is he crying?!
Zee said in his head

He immediately turned and faced Nunew. He saw that he is full blown crying. He held Nu's face as he wipes away his tears. Zee's face is now filled with worry.

"Nunew, hey. What's wrong?! Why are you crying?!" Zee worriedly asked.

Nunew just continued crying. He's bawling his eyes out now. He is fully sobbing.

"You have to talk to me Nunu, what's the matter. Did you have a nightmare?" Zee gently asked

Nunew looked at him as he cries.

"I. Am. Living. A. Nightmare" Nunew said as he sobs

"You're what? Why would you say that?!" Zee asked

Am I really that bad if a friend for him to say that?!
Zee questions himself.

"Because you're mad at me" Nunew managed to say.

Zee froze again.

"You think im mad at you?" Zee asked

"Are you not?! You've avoided me all night. You wouldnt even look at me. Wont talk to me. You wont let me touch you." Nunew cried loud

"Im sorry for saying hurtful things. Im sorry for pushing you away. Im sorry for being selfish and not thinking. You can be mad at me, shout at me. But please dont withdraw yourself. Dont leave me. I dont want to lose you again" Nunew tightly clutches to Zee's shirt.

"Oh my Nunu"
Zee said as he pulls Nunew into a hug. He wrapped his arms aroumd him and kissed the top of his head.

"Im so sorry. I wasnt angry at you at all. I can never be angry at you" Zee told Nunew.

"Then why were you distancing yourself so much?! Why were you ignoring me?!" Nunew asked. He's still holding Zee's shirt. He wont let go of it.

"Nunu, i thought you were upset with me. I was scared that you are finding me too playful or possessive or clingy. So i distanced myself so you will not be upset even more. I thought i was over stepping my boundaries and you are feeling suffocated so I stepped away even if i dont want to. I did it because I thought it would please you"