The Cat Orphanage

CHAPTER 7

So many things I want to say to people, and there are so many things I want to talk about. I have done something really bad in my past life, and now God is punishing me in this universe.

I wish I was brave, honestly. I want to go up to people and look at them, make eye contact and speak with them through my eyes.

I dare to dream.

Close your eyes and let your imagination fly away.  See a picture of where you wish to be one day. Let the colours of your heart take command to paint the picture of your dream and place it on your hand.  Hold on tightly and nurture it, but allow it to grow. When you reach your dream, open your hand and let it go. Close your eyes and search for another, caring it as before. Never stop searching, achieving and letting go, for that's what dreams are for.

Dear god, 

At the end of the day, you are all I have left, to hold and pray, to hope and listen. Where there seems to be no other day.  When no one cares, you'll set things right.  When no one cares, mercy on my plight.

Oh, reader. How beautiful you look when you smile... Those bad words that hurt you, those comments that upset you. You cry yourself to sleep, hoping to wake up to a better day, meanwhile,, there is a feeling inside you that tells you everything will stay the same. How many people love you and you don't realize? How much you hate yourself, how much you would want to change yourself... Believe me, I know. I can understand you very well. When you feel sad, there is always a way to feel happy again. Look at the sky and smile, watch the moon and the stars. You are a star in someone's world. 

You are a star.

...

I managed to survive another day. I lie on my bed, hopeless. I can't find a reason to wake up every morning, knowing that there is one. I sit up on my bed. I have to change the sheets since Hazel cut them. I get up and walk towards the small wardrobe I use. 

I look down and notice Hazel trying to climb on my leg. 

I would ignore her because I am not in the mood to play, but she is too pure and innocent to be ignored. I kneel and look at her. I lift her and hold her in my arms.

I love how it feels to hold her. I would give up everything just for her. A cat in an orphanage, living with a deaf, orphan girl. Nobody knows about her presence. I pet her and she looks at me with her big, gold her. 

She is a Maine coon and she is 3 years old.

She is so cute.

I put Hazel to the ground and continued my job. I change the old, blue sheets to a pink one with cute flowers on it. When I finish, I sit down and look out of the window, watching the moon and the stars.

I asked the stars, why did it flicker so beautifully. And they replied, it is because of the way the moon makes us feel.

Oh. 

Aaron is my moon.

...

Today is  October 13.

I feel down.

I put on some baggy, black sweatpants and a white, plain shirt. I let my hair down. I put on my Converse shoes, which are way too dirty and too old. But they are my only shoes. 

I walk out of the orphanage and go to school.

Usually, I walk through the corridors of my school. I skip the locker part and go look for Aaron. I really need him. I miss him too. He is the only person who can communicate with me. I check the classrooms and the cafeteria, but he is nowhere to be found. I even look in the bathrooms, but I get yelled at for entering the men's bathrooms. It was quite embarrassing.