Caution warning!! Talk of suicidal thoughts (Again, I SWEAR it's wholesome)
January 8th, 2023
9:05PM
Enid's POV"What were you thinking about?" Wednesday asks. I've been brushing her hair for only a few minutes now. It doesn't need the brushing, but I like the way her hair feels. Part of me was wondering when the comfortable silence was going to end, I just didn't know she would be the one to end it.
But what was I thinking about?
I was thinking about my massive crush on you.
I sigh, not sure how exactly to go about this conversation. I've never come out to anybody before. Not even Yoko, she just figured it out. I can't just drop the ball out of nowhere. Well, I could...but I don't want to.
"There's just been something on my mind recently." I enigmatically respond. I put the brush down and look at her hair. Gorgeous. I think about what to do with it before deciding on two French braids. I lean forward a bit, trying to get the right angle to start the left braid, but she's slightly out of reach. "Can I move in closer? I can't really do the style from where I'm at." I ask nicely. I'm not sure how much closer I can get; her back is already against my legs, so I don't know where we go from here.
"We can't get any closer Enid." She notes, as if she was able to read my mind.
"Yeah, I know, I just-" I pause when Wednesday starts to move. She turns her whole body around just like how she did earlier, now facing me. I am once again met with her eyes, this time less tense, looking into mine.
"Does this help?" She asks, monotone as ever but yet, more sincere.
"Um, yeah. That helps." I say, clearing my throat. I wish I could hide the fact that her face being less than two feet away from mine is making me nervous. But I can't. So, I'll just have to really attempt to keep my composure for as long as we are this close. For some reason I find it much easier to French braid someone's hair while facing them, rather than behind. Weird, but it is what it is.
"Enid."
"Yeah?" I respond, focused on making the braid good.
"What has been on your mind recently?"
Here we go.
"I don't know. I've just been realizing things about myself recently. Things that I never really thought of before. It's not really things like plural, more like thing, singular. And it's not like there is anything wrong with the thing. It's just very confusing because I don't even know what category I fall into when it comes to the thing. But I know for sure I am the thing, no doubt in my mind. I just wish the thing that I am wasn't so important about a person. I feel like if I tell people I happen to be this thing, they will completely disregard everything else about me and focus in on that...thing? I don't know, and on top of other things that fall within the category of the thing it's very stressful. To say the least." I ramble, starting out calm, cool, and collected but slowly losing it the more I speak. I take my eyes off of the braid and look to Wednesdays face. She stares at me blankly before speaking.
"Strangely enough, I have the same feeling." She shares. The expression on my face changes to slightly intrigued. Surely, we can't be talking about the same thing. "This...thing that you talk about. I reluctantly feel a similar way. I'm indifferent about how it will affect my personal life, I don't care what others think of me...mostly. However, I do find myself entertaining the thought of someone not appreciating it. It's not their obligation to, by any means...but it is a fairly unsettling feeling to think they might not reciprocate." Wednesday slowly explains.
She could be talking about so many different things. What are the odds that she's talking about me?
"Wednesday."
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