it will rain • Chaelisa

* Insemination

Point of view Roseanne Park

Lisa held my hand as we walked through the office door, my nervousness didn't go away, on the contrary, as I saw photos of couples and pregnant women it increased, Lisa smiled radiantly beside me without any worries.

— Hello, we have an appointment scheduled. — My wife spoke next to me, facing the receptionist in front of us.

— What is the patient's name?

—Roseanne Manoban Park.

After finding our form the receptionist asked us to wait, I sat next to Lisa with my arms crossed and my leg swinging frantically.

- Love are you OK?. — Lisa asked worriedly, noticing my nervousness for the first time.

— I'm anxious, I don't know how to explain it.

— Relax, it's just a conversation, nothing more.

— It's not just a conversation Lisa, I'm surprised you're so calm like that.

— For now it's just a conversation, nothing we haven't talked about before, so try to relax my love, we're in this together.

My body gave in a little feeling Lisa's big arm go around my shoulder, I settled on her chest.

Almost 2 years since Lisa had started training, and it changed not only her but also her body, not that Lisa's body wasn't perfect for me before, but now, it was breathtaking. Her strength also seemed to increase, as she insisted on lifting me and pretending to do push-ups with my body.

I couldn't deny that I found this funny.

— Ladies. — The receptionist said, getting up from where she was, and walking in front of us.

We followed her into the clinic corridor, we entered one of the five rooms there, a doctor attended to us.

— It's great to finally meet you guys. — She said, sitting in front of us.

We did the same, settling into the chairs facing her.

— Also Doctor. — Lisa said, still extremely excited by my side.

— I'm here to answer all your questions, Lisa told me via message that you will carry the baby, right?

- Yes it's me. — Saying that still sounded a little too young, me carrying a child. — Does the procedure hurt?

— No, it is painless and lasts no less than 15 minutes. — She replied calmly.

— There are two types, right?

— Yes, there are two types of artificial insemination, IC intracervical artificial insemination in which the sperm is placed in the cervix, and IU intrauterine artificial insemination in which the sperm is placed inside the uterus, the second has the best proof of success .

— And how is the donor chosen? — I asked curiously.

— We have a database with the data of all donors, in which we have their characteristics, the rest, such as identity, are completely anonymous.

— Did you receive the exams I took?

— I received them all early, and you are incredibly fertile.

Out of concern, Lisa and I took a fertility test, and luckily for me, or not, I was much more fertile than her, which would give a better chance of the insemination result being positive.

— If it doesn't work out.

I think Lisa wasn't worried about this, which made me anxious, since she wasn't very good at dealing with frustrations.

— You can try again.

— It'll work out, love. — Lisa said smiling at me.

— As you are the one who will give birth to Rose, I am available for your next questions, but I can already guarantee that after the successful procedure you will be just another ordinary mother. — I smiled for the first time after I arrived at the clinic.

Yes, I was completely happy with that idea, having a child with Lisa was really the height of the greatest happiness I could have, because I had never loved someone as much as I loved her, and that would only make the two of us more connected, but of course With so much happiness came fear, the fear of not being a good mother, or of our relationship wearing out instead of getting stronger, but how could I cancel our plan out of fear? and lows, fear has never been lacking among us.

So I would do all that out of fear, as long as Lisa was by my side I had nothing to worry about.

I asked the doctor at least 10 questions before we left, I left calmer after understanding the whole procedure, really the only worry that went through my head was that it wouldn't work, thinking that maybe Lisa would have to give birth, knowing that This was not his will, it could have shaken up the happiness that was installed in both of us a little.

After we got home Lisa went to take a shower to train, I had taken the day off, after a tiring week at work, now being head of the department I didn't have time to even think.

But I was happy anyway, my salary had increased, Lisa and I had finished the apartment payments, and there was a good amount left for the insemination, Lisa made a point of looking for the best clinics and professionals, she was very concerned about my health , and I knew that good people in charge would make all the difference in the process.

Lisa didn't earn as much as I did, but everything she earned she made a point of spending on me and the process we were starting.

I had a new wife by my side, Lisa who I was seeing and meeting for the first time, she was calm and patient, she did all her tasks and mine too, all with a huge smile on her lips, as if she was finally being happy. and being herself.

I watched her walk with the towel wrapped around her waist, showing off her defined back and a little wet from the shower, she looked for some item in the wardrobe and I let out a big sigh.

- What it was?. — Lisa said, turning to me after listening to me.

I lost myself in her body again, watching her round, exposed breasts, looking down at her rigid abdomen.

- Is nothing.

I said smiling, Lisa turned her attention to the clothes she was looking for, while I realized that I was even more in love with her, and now with a completely new and irrational fear of losing her, because she was becoming more beautiful and more confident every day. , and I couldn't say why it made me insecure.

She finished getting ready, placing the training bag on her shoulders, and approaching me on the bed.

— How many hours today?

— One hour, Jisoo increased the time for me to be prepared.

—Are you really going to fight? — I asked worriedly. — It's one thing to fight with her, it's another thing to fight with another professional.

— You shouldn't worry. — She said, brushing some strands of hair out of my face. — I'm very good at what I do. — She spoke with a sinister smile on her lips.

— Okay, take care of yourself, and send a kiss to Jisoo, she owes me a visit.

Lisa gave me a quick peck, getting up from the bed.

— You can leave my love, I'll talk to her, I left your snack ready on the table, it's ready to eat.

- It can leave.

When she left the room, a disturbing silence settled in, and I realized that Lisa filled that entire apartment with her energy and joy, it was difficult to get used to not having her around, I didn't have much time left for her with work, college, training and therapy. , and I couldn't go up to her and say that, she would definitely slow down because of me and that could cause some energy loss in her.

All I could do was wait for her to come back, and that was when I could stay awake, as I woke up very early to go to work.

I took a long bath in the bathtub, and spent a few long minutes staring at my belly, imagining it getting bigger every month, and that made me anxious again.

This anxiety would only go away when I finally did the insemination.