it will rain • Chaelisa

• Do not go away

Point of view Lalisa Manoban

I thought I would have the courage to enter the apartment as soon as I arrived, but I had been sitting on the bench next to it for two hours.

Why did I feel like that night would be the worst of my life?, as if I could hear the words Rosé would say to me?. I was putting it off, as if something inside me was fighting to get in and another part of me was fighting to leave and put it off for as long as it could.

I took a deep breath, getting up from the bench, I walked very slowly to the apartment, I went up in the elevator remembering how many times we got into it together, happy.

I got to the door and opened it carefully, I took off my shoes, Rosé hated having shoes in the house, not that it mattered much now, the only thing she hated at the moment was me.

I noticed some boxes scattered around, as I imagined, I heard noise in the room and approached calmly, Rosé put her hand to her chest, closing her eyes, I had scared her.

— Lisa. — She said, looking at me and stopping folding the clothes in her hands.

I looked around the room, there were clothes scattered around and some shoes along with two open suitcases on the bed.

— You're leaving. — I said, trying to remain calm, but tears came out along with those words.

— Did you get out of there? How? — Rosé still looked confused.

— He withdrew the complaint.

- Why did he do it?.

I remembered at that moment what Jennie had told me, that I should tell her the truth, but I just couldn't speak.

— You were going to leave without telling me anything. — She said still standing near the door.

— I'm sorry Lisa. — She said crying too. — I'm really sorry, I can't take it anymore, I promised, I know, but you're not only hurting yourself, you won't accept treatment. — She said gesturing with her hand nervously. — When you decide to visit the doctor, you beat up a nurse, do you realize the gravity of what you did?

- I'm very sorry. — I said trying to get closer to her, but Rosé pushed me away with her hand.

— I don't want to hear your excuses anymore Lisa, I'm tired. — I noticed her face with deep circles under her eyes, she had cried a lot to get to that situation. — I couldn't close my eyes all these days thinking that you were trapped, trapped Lisa behind the bars of a cell, the love of my life, my wife, trapped in a police station. — Her words made those events more absurd than they already were. — My parents are worried again, as if we were in the past.

— I would never do anything to hurt you. — I said, hurt, watching her smile without humor.

— What does hurt mean to you?, hitting on someone?, hitting someone?, there are other ways to hurt someone Lisa, even more cruel ways than a blow.

— You're really going to leave. — I repeated those sentences, crying even more. - I can not live without you.

— Lisa, please don't say these things to me, it was already very difficult to make this decision.

— I managed to change, for years, why can't you believe in me again?

— Why in all these years have you never done something so cruel, in the past you hit an asshole at school, and now you hit a professional who takes care of people, a family man, what's your next act?, I don't want be here to see.

Rose didn't say anything else, she just went back to putting away her clothes while wiping away the tears that fell, I sat on the floor of the room hugging my legs and feeling the sensation as if my chest was about to explode, which made me think that I would do anything to keep her from leaving, even telling her that disgusting story.