Hearts in the Shadows(m×m)

Our Secret

Leo

I don't know why I've been so blunt with Alex. I shouldn't have said those things to him, but it strangely gave me a sense of calm. However, judging by his expression, my words didn't sit well with him.
I don't know what he's thinking, and honestly, I don't care about his thoughts. I discarded the cigarette butt in the ashtray and glanced at Alex.
"I have class. If you want, I can drop you at your dorm," I offered. Alex looked at me and shook his head.
"It's okay. I'll go myself," he said. I nodded and proceeded to walk into the room.
I put on my jacket, grabbed my bike key and bag. Alex entered the room, put on his t-shirt, and we both headed out.
"If you don't mind, I can drop you," I offered as I stood by my bike.

Alex stepped towards me and stood in front of me. I thought he was about to get on my bike and reach for a helmet, but what happened next left me shocked.
He cupped my face in his palms, and his lips landed on mine. My eyes widened, but I responded to his kiss briefly. It was a soft kiss, and he pulled away gently.

Our eyes met, and it felt like the whole world vanished into the background, leaving just the two of us. I was completely lost in his eyes. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I felt a knock on the extensive wall I had built around my heart over the years.

"Thank you for the offer, but I'll go on my own," he said with a smile.
I was stunned to see this new side of him.
He appeared so caring, but I knew this wasn't his true personality. He was doing this deliberately.

He didn't want to ride with me because if his friends saw us together, they would question him. If anyone found out about us, his reputation would be ruined.

Alex was really close, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions that were hard to decipher.

"What's your deal?" I muttered, a mix of irritation and anxiety bubbling inside me.
"You're playing games, Alex. I can see right through you," I said, and his expression fell as if he got caught red-handed.
"I'm not playing games, I care about you," he replied, his voice low and intense.
I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion.
"I really don't. We've never gotten along. Why the sudden interest?" my voice reflected my frustration.

"I have my reasons," he finally said, his voice softer, and my walls started to crack under the intensity of this unexpected encounter.
His fingers caressed my cheeks, sending shivers down my spine.
"Tell me," I urged, my eyes searching his.
"I can't," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Can't or don't want?" I pressed.

"Both," he admitted, and I smiled, pushing his hand away from my face.

I sighed as I put my helmet over my head and started the bike.

"If you want, we can continue this relationship. But make sure no one can find out about this secret, not even your friends.

If anyone learns about us, then you won't be able to see my face from the next second in your entire life," I said and drove my bike from there.

As I drove away, I watched his reactions through the rearview mirror.
His anger was clear in his eyes, and he did his best not to show it.

I smiled at his reactions; I had gotten under his skin. I said to him what he wanted to say to me.

Anyhow, I didn't have anything to lose, so I wanted to see how long he could play this game with me.

When nighttime arrived and I returned to my room, I noticed that Alex's car was parked in the parking lot.

I placed my bike next to his car, but as I headed towards my room, my legs started to feel heavy.

This morning, when I told him we could continue our relationship, I had initially believed it would be straightforward and it would be simple. However, now my heart feels burdened.

Leaning against the wall, I lit a cigarette. I smoked five cigarettes one after another before heading to my room. Indeed, Alex was standing just outside my room.

As I saw him, I took slow steps. He was dressed in a black shirt with plain pants, and his sleeves were rolled up, leaving two buttons of his shirt unfastened.

He looked incredibly attractive, and I found it hard to look away.

He was engrossed in typing something on his mobile and didn't notice me until I was almost right in front of him.

He was startled by my sudden presence. A smile crossed his lips when our eyes met. I managed a faint smile in return, but his smile faded as he saw mine.

"You know, I hate it when you smile like that," he said as he put his mobile in his pants pocket.

"I thought you hated everything about me," I replied as I opened my door and went inside.

"No, there's something I really love about you," he said, causing me to burst into laughter.

I knew what he was referring to. He loved my body; otherwise, he wouldn't be here right now.

"Stop laughing!" he suddenly boomed, and I turned to look at him. I was stunned when I saw his eyes burning with anger. I didn't understand why my laugh had triggered such a strong reaction.

"Okay, fine," I said, raising my hands in defense, but I couldn't help the lingering smile.

I really wasn't in the mood to argue with him. I put my bag on the table and walked to the kitchen.

"Do you want something?" I asked, trying to keep it normal.

"No, I already had dinner," he said as he sat on my bed. I nodded before grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"Drink warm water; it's not good to have ice water at night," Alex advised. His voice held a hint of concern, a tone I hadn't expected from him.

"Like I care," I bluntly retorted before downing the entire bottle in one breath. It was icy, and I felt like my whole body was frozen.

"Leo," Alex stood up on his feet, ready for another discussion. However, I interrupted him.

"Look, Alex, I have many things that exceed your expectations. You can't correct even a single thing for me, so please don't attempt to fix them. Besides, I don't like  people messing with my matters. Our relationship only exists within this room, within these four walls. Once we step out that door, we're enemies. You know I really hate you, so please don't involve yourself in my matters," I explained, a small smile playing on my face.

I don't know why, but ever since he mentioned he didn't like my smile, I found myself smiling even more.