Push and Pull || Maggie Greene

18 Miles Out

About a week had gone by since that shit show happened in town. Hershel deemed Randall ready to be let go yesterday and Rick and Shane were supposed to take him far from here to cut him free today. Which, personally, I think is the best option for Randell because at least this way he has a fighting chance. 

It's been a week since Maggie and I had that conversation, and we haven't really talked since. I didn't know what to say to her—I wish I did—but I've never been good at this sort of thing. Plus, every time I see her, I can't shake the memory of what happened at the bar, and it makes my stomach churn.

I couldn't help but scoff lightly at myself, I should have this shit under control, but I just kept thinking about if I had died that night, and the thought of Maggie having to go through something like that again made me feel even more sick.

I pushed those thoughts from my mind and decided to get ready for the day. Quickly throwing on some clothes and shoes, I stepped outside of my tent. It was still pretty early, though a few people were already up and about. I spotted Dale by the campfire, cooking what appeared to be eggs, and he greeted me with a smile as I approached.

"Morning Ellie, how'd you sleep?" He asked as I sat down in one of the chairs we had placed around.  "Not too bad, yourself?" I returned, offering a grateful smile as he passed me a plate of food.

"Ah, you know, as well as one can," he replied. I nodded in understanding as he turned to me with a thoughtful expression, drawing my attention more intently.

"Say, you haven't really been that talkative this past week, is something the matter?" He asked me concerned. Of course, Dale would notice, he had this skill for picking up on things, honestly, he was like a grandfather or something.

I shrug my shoulder, "It's nothing really, Just had a lot on my mind," That wasn't entirely a lie, I really did.

He simply just gave me that look he had, the one where he knows there's more to what you're saying and I sigh before taking a bite of my food. 

"Does this have something to do with what's been going on with you and Maggie?" 

I couldn't help but chuckle, leave it to Dale to hit the nail right on the head. "Yeah..." I trail off and he just gives me a knowing look. 

"It's very clear to everyone that she cares deeply for you, and that you feel the same way, so what's the problem?" He asked me, genuinely concerned. I shrug a bit, "I just want to protect her," I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

"Well, you can't very well protect her if you won't go near her," Dale tells me and I open myself to go say something but pause, I guess he had a point.

"No...I mean yeah that's true, but...listen, If I die she has to go through the pain of losing another person, and I don't want to put her through that, so I'm stepping away," I informed him and ate another bite of my food. 

"Maggie's a big girl, don't you think it should be her choice?" He questioned and I once again shrugged. "Maggie is stubborn, which I love about her, but she won't see it this way, and so I've got to protect her from getting hurt," I explain to him, trying to reason why it has to be this way. 

Dale fell into a brief silence, tending to the fire before wiping his hands and rising to his feet. "Ellie, I believe Maggie is smart enough to understand that love comes with its share of pain, especially in times like these. That's why every moment of happiness you two share is worth fighting for," he offered, his hand gently patting my shoulder, a warm smile on his lips. "Just something to ponder," he added before bidding me farewell and heading toward the RV.

I sat there mulling over his words, I guess he did have a point, I'm sure Maggie has thought about this...maybe I was overreacting. I groaned, leave it to me to make everything so fucking complicated.