Hey !! Its Cupid Calling (Completed) 18+

Chapter 36

Ira POV

We were seated on the small couches in the corner of the room. Arjun put up small warm lights so it was a seatable area. Arjun looked tired and sad I was waiting for him to continue what he started. He wanted to talk to me, but I did not want to. He held me close to him and refused to let me go until I hear his side while on his knees.

Me: Arjun, you better speak before I run out of patience 

Arjun: Fine, but you have to know I am very sorry for what I said 

Me: We will discuss about that once you are out with the story okay ?

Arjun: When I started to fall in love with you I saw the carefree, kind, compassionate personality of your's. I knew there was something which was troubling you but I thought it was the regular single women stuff. I did not know you were divorced.

Me: That freaked you out and when you realized I had my own share of trauma you realized it was not your cup of tea

Arjun: Please listen, it never bothered me to find that you were divorced. I was shocked for sure but I know the next second that it did not effect me what effected me was the way you behaved. Calling yourself a corpse, belitting yourself and being pessimistic about life in general. You said you made it seem like you were waiting for death. 

That deep trauma rattled me, it shocked me to see that a carefree, kind, compassionate person like you had so much of darkness and sadness in you. For a minute I was blank, I did not know what to tell you, the shock persisted. I walked away that day. Later when I saw your act in front of people at office, the words you said played like a cassette in my ears. The sadness in you and the helplessness I felt was boundless during that time. 

One minute I used to be back to the way we were before and next minute I used to have the bitter realization. It was so difficult. I used to think how would I even help you or if you would ever win over your trauma to give me a chance because I cant seem to stay away from you. It took me lot of pep talk to stay away from you so that I dont get hurt, as I know you would not accept me or our love. As you might not be completely in the relationship because of your fears. I tried to keep distance although it killed me but you ended up proposing me.

Me: You wanted that right ?

Arjun: I did but I was in a wrong place, I thought I would never be able to be your shoulder to cry on. I would not be able to support you. I would not be able to heal your trauma. I felt rejoiced to hear your confession but I was afraid I would hurt you more by being me 

Me: Explain more

Arjun: In the process of ignoring you I spent more time with Pragya. She developed feelings for me and proposed I rejected her outright without any sort of cushioning the blow you know what she said ? She said "You are a stone hearted, boring, heartless guy who does not even have the decency to be nice, I sympathize with your family who tolerates you", "I dont even know how they survive around you",

Me: Wait, that bothered you ?

Arjun: No, it was a childish rejected rant but those words had truth in them 

Me: What do you mean

Arjun: I was a stone hearted, heartless guy that I did not even care about my sister for my ego

Me: What ?

Arjun: I let my ego be so high that it did not get away until my brother in law died 

Me: Your brother-in-law ? He died of heart attack, how is it related to you ?

Arjun: Ira, Naina and my brother in law fell in love in college. She wanted to be the world class counsellor, I was saving up for her future when she fell in love . When I discouraged her she went against my wishes and married him. I felt so dissapointed that I did not talk to her properly until he died and she needed my help. 

He tried so hard to get my approval but I remained heartless, I distanced myself to my entire family as my sister let myself down. It was so stupid and later I realized I left my sister midway. I let my sister down because of my ego and heartless demenor. And, she is not the first one, I did not even shed tears when my parents passed away.

Me: But, how is it ...

Arjun: I am an emotionally incompetent person Ira. I left my sister midway, she called me, she sent me voice mails, she texted me begging me to talk to her but I did not move. My parents died, our plans went amiss but I never shed a tear or felt sad.  That day you were telling me your trauma and I walked away ignoring you. I felt I was incapable of handling intense emotions or supporting you. If I even tried because of my lack of support I was afraid I would end up hurting you more and traumatizing you. 

Me: Fine, I got you. You feel that you will not be able to handle me. Its okay, everybody has something which they cannot do right ? Now ask them to open the door.

Arjun: I am not done yet 

Me: What do you mean ? You said your your piece, you said you will not be able to be emotionally supportive

Arjun: I felt like I would not be emotionally supportive but someone knocked some sense into me and I realized how wrong I was 

Me: What ?

Arjun: I assumed that I would not be emotionally compatible with you but those were just baseless assumptions. I was scared, I was a coward for a minute until realization stricked me. I love you Ira and im not letting myself be the enemy of me.  

Me: What do you mean ? I dont even want to know. You are confusing me Arjun, you know what I have to leave. I thought from whatever you said you wanted to apolozise and give me a reason for your hurtful words that day but now you are confusing me ..I dont even want to hear it

I kept my hands on my ears and refused to listen 

Before I walked out the door opened revealing a person. What is she doing here now ? What is going on ?

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Regards,

Indu