Exposing Her Heart

17🖤. Thoughts

24/4

Zhara's Pov

Waking up I saw that my phone had died

"Ugghhh, why mi never make mi phone charge last night" I said outloud to myself while groaning

I rolled over unto my back, prayed a quick prayer n just held a fixed gaze at the ceiling getting lost in my thoughts

It's all I seem to be doing lately

I've been so out of it honestly.

Mi just always ina mi head, most times people a talk n mi devn realize say mi a block them out

I wasn't always like this though, there was a time where I use to say whatever comes to mind no matter what, I mean I still do but not all the time and most times I end up feeling bad

But as always fake it till Yu make it

As I got lost in my thoughts I started thinking about what's happening with me and Xave

I honestly don't think I'm mentally ready for a boyfriend not that he asked

We are moving a bit fast

Bout Yu want man stay over, Yu look real desperate

Not even ago medz my subconscious eno, all this thing does is put me down as if we're not literally the same person

But to be completely honest a girl have been really lonely and craving love

It's not that I'm ugly or anything it's just that society makes it seems like a crime to be fat most times

Sometimes they don't even realize that they're putting you down and not actually giving a compliment

Cause how is it I'm gonna post a picture of myself and somebody gon have the audacity Fi comment say "you're not fat, you're pretty" n some other fuckery like that

" I'm sorry God" I whispered

Look pon eh time a morning mi a cuss bad words

I rather go crazy before I let a bitch make me hate myself and that's on period as a money making girl

Making big money

Quickly realizing I thought a not nice word again I apologize to God

Just naah make nuh gyal weh suck hood n skin out fi a living make me have problem w my clean self weh only open up when me feel like

Laawd again Zhara, I hiss my teeth audibly

I got up going straight to the bathroom to pee, every morning I do that first

I then brushed my teeth and finished my morning routine

Food next, girl's gotta eat

Xave's Pov:

"Yu nuh sleep bad man" I heard Keno ask as I entered the warehouse as some call it

He's asking this because last night after maamz drop asleep mi mute the phone n bring it with mi Fi go deal with some business with Keno

I went back home 6 something and now it's exactly 9:45

"Why dem nuh reach yet?" I asked ignoring his question

"Me yah ask?"

"No" I said sarcastically

"Yah fwd from your yard n me a fwd from my yard how mi Fi know?" He asked

I turned then walked away from him

"Like Yu nah get nuh pussy" he said

"That mi a say to, man vex with eh world from wah day. N mi nuh want nobody a hurry mi outta mi rass bed" my cousin Jay said walking in