Hold On To Me (Marina)

14.Walls

14.

Afraid of what's behind
You loathe thе other side
But it's here you'll feel awake
Together we will
Tear down the walls
(Gates-Walls)

"Carina! Carina, are you here?" Maya stormed into Joe's, calling her wife's name out loud. She looked around, desperately praying to see her somewhere, utterly careless about all the people staring at her as if she was going crazy. She needed to find Carina. She needed her not to leave her. Not again.

"Maya!" someone called her. "Maya, what's going on?". That wasn't Carina's voice. And she wanted nothing but hear Carina's voice.

"Maya, it's me, it's Andy." the Latina approached her. "Why don't we go out from here and you tell me what happened?". The blonde nodded and the two left the bar. The rain was heavy, but Maya didn't care. Everything was so painful and scary, she barely felt the water on her skin. She barely felt something.

"Maya, you, re scaring me." Andy claimed. "Please, talk to me. I am your best friend, I've got you.". Maya looked up at the sky. Andy tried to cover her with an umbrella, but the blonde didn't allow her. Carina had left her, maybe forever. She needed to feel something and the rain on her skin was the only thing that could help her.

"Maya, please!" Andy insisted, concern in her eyes. The blonde slowly turned to her best friend and took a deep breath.

"It's about Carina." she said, finally. "She... She is gone.". Andy widened her eyes in shock.

"What? Why?" she asked.

"I don't know. I wanted to talk about Keira, but she started hyperventilating and when I tried to hold her she pushed me away and then left." Maya explained. "She told me she was sorry and left. She just left.". Andy didn't believe her own ears. That whole situation made no sense, at all.

"Okay Maya, listen, I'm sure she doesn't want to break up with you. Maybe she needed to take a walk."

"A walk? With such a weather? Maya replied.

"Well, you've got a point." Andy muttered. "But come on, we're talking about Carina. She would never..."

"She already did it, Andy. She already left once." the blonde stated. "And okay, it was my fault, but what if I upset her again without even realizing it?". The brunette let out a sigh and gave her friend a sympathetic smile, an attempt to make her feel a bit less alone.

"Did she packed a bag? A suitcase?" she asked. "Did she tell you she would have come back later to collect her own stuff?". Maya frowned, confused.

"I don't..."

"Just answer, Maya.". The blonde chewed the inside of her cheek. The image of her wife leaving kept showing up in her mind and it was so painful.

"She... She told me she was sorry, grabbed her keys and left. That's it."

"Which keys?" Andy asked. "I mean, car keys or your house keys?". Maya tried to focus on her memories. On Carina who pushed her away. On Carina who kissed her in such a desperate way. On Carina who told her that she was sorry and not just for pushing her, but for something the blonde couldn't really understand. On Carina who grabbed her keys and left without saying a word. It was so painful, too painful.

"House keys. Yes, she grabbed her set of house keys.". Andy softly smiled at her and turned watching the rain. It was almost hypnotic.

"I don't think she wants to leave you, Maya. If you want to leave someone you collect your own stuff and go away. And you know how much Carina cares about her car." she said.