LUCYS COUSIN - a julien baker fanfic

chapter twenty four - dinner

(Ivy's POV)

it was now 4:30PM on monday, julien was better but still had a little cough. i didn't wanna get too dressed up, but i also didn't wanna be underdressed.

"is this fine?" i ask julien, walking into the room with a cropped top, some boyfriend jeans, and doc martens on, along with my hair half up half down with a ribbon in it. "yea, it's cute!" she smiled, i thanked her and kissed her nose.

she was wearing a band tee and some jeans (as per usual) but i still thought she looked good. she always looked good.

phoebe wasn't joining along, and i don't blame her, but it would've been nice for the whole group to go.

lucy wore something similar to me, we all walked to the car and headed off to my moms house.

i didn't expect it to go well, but there was a part of me that wanted to believe it would. i was really nervous, i know i shouldn't be because it's my mom were talking about here, but i still was. i was so anxious that i was nauseous.

julien held my hand the whole ride there while her and lucy sang something that was playing on the radio as i was dissociating.

we pulled up and julien turned to me, saying something, making me jump a little. "huh?" i ask, "woah, are you good?" she says. "mhm, just — nervous" i said, "it'll be okay, come on" she said back, getting out of the car, coming around to open my door.

lucy, julien, and i all walked up to the doorstep. i knocked on the door and waited for a moment until we heard footsteps, i gripped juliens hand a little tighter. my mom opened the door, "hey girls! come on in" she said. why does she sound so nice, it was almost scary. i felt uneasy as we walked into the living room. seeing my childhood bedroom door shut, wondering if some of the stuff i left was still in the room.

"you girls can sit on the couch, the food is almost done" my mom said in that same nice bullshit voice. julien and lucy both cringed a little when she said 'girls'.

"so i assume you're ivory's new .... girlfriend" my mom said, making julien smile and nod. "yeah" she said, "so... laura... what have you been up to" lucy said, clearing the tension. "nothing much... the house has been kind of lonely ya know..." my mom said with a sigh. well, dumbass! maybe if you didn't kick me out it wouldn't be. god damn this woman is making it hard for me to keep my cool, her existence pisses me off.

"so, ivy, heard you started writing music" my mom said, stirring whatever was in the pot on the stove. my brows furrowed as i looked at my two friends.  "yea.." i said skeptically, i hadn't talked to her about this at all, and neither had lucy. i had posted about it on twitter but i had her blocked...oh. burner accounts. "well, that's cool. and i'm glad she treats you right" she said, pointing to julien. i just nodded.

when we started eating and conversating i actually had a feeling it was gonna turn out alright. my mom wasn't being such a dickhead after all, well...

"looks like you've gained a little weight, ivy" she said to me, making my heart drop as i look down at my shirt that's ridden up a little. both of my friends look at me cautiously, like i'm some fragile piece of architecture. i try to smile like it doesn't affect me, but it did, it definitely did.

a few moments later i stand up quickly, "i'm going to the bathroom, i'll be right back" i say, speed walking up the stairs.

(Juliens POV)

those words scared me. as ivy was standing on the top step i stood up urgently, "me too, be right back" i said, walking quickly up the stairs. when i stood up, ivy's steps got quicker as she walked down the long hall. right as i opened the bathroom door i saw her, kneeling infront of the toilet with her fingers down her throat, making herself puke.