A Girlfriend and Grawp

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The story of Fred and George's flight to freedom was retold so often over the next few days that one could tell it would soon become the stuff of Hogwarts legend within a week.

Even those who had been eye-witnesses were half convinced they had seen the twins divebomb Umbridge on their brooms and pelt her with Dungbombs before zooming out of the doors.

In the immediate aftermath of their departure there was a great wave of talk about copying them. I had frequently heard students saying things like, "Honestly, some days! just feel like jumping on my broom and leaving this place," or else, "One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley."

Fred and George had made sure nobody was likely to forget them too soon. For one thing, they had not left instructions on how to remove the swamp that now filled the corridor on the fifth floor of the east wing.

Umbridge and Filch tried and failed with many different methods. Eventually, the area was roped off and Filch, gnashing his teeth furiously, was given the task of punting students across it to their classrooms.

I was certain that teachers like McGonagall or Flitwick could have removed the swamp in an instant but, just as in the case of Fred and George's Wildfire Whiz-bangs, they seemed to prefer to watch Umbridge struggle.

Then there were the two large broom-shaped holes in Umbridge's office door, through which Fred and George's Cleansweeps had smashed to rejoin their masters.

Filch fitted a new door and removed Harry's Firebolt to the dungeons where, it was rumoured, Umbridge had set an armed security troll to guard it. However, her troubles were far from over.

Inspired by Fred and George's example, a great number of students were now 'trying out' for the newly vacant positions of Troublemakers-in-Chief.

Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were dropped so frequently in the corridors that it became the new fashion for students to perform Bubble-Head Charms on themselves before leaving lessons, which ensured them a supply of fresh air, even if they did look stupid.

Filch prowled the corridors with a horsewhip ready in his hands, desperate to catch miscreants, but the problem was that there were now so many of them he never knew which way to turn.

The Inquisitorial Squad was attempting to help him, but odd things kept happening to its members. Warrington of the Slytherin Quidditch team reported to the hospital wing with a horrible skin complaint that made him look as though he had been coated in cornflakes;

And word on the street, Pansy, to Hermione's delight, missed all her lessons the following day as she had sprouted antlers.

Meanwhile, it became clear just how many Skiving Snackboxes Fred and George had managed to sell before leaving Hogwarts.

Umbridge only had to enter her classroom for the students assembled there to faint, vomit, develop dangerous fevers or else spout blood from both nostrils.

But not even the users of the Snackboxes could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves, who seemed to have taken Freds parting word deeply to heart.

Cackling madly, he soared through the school upending tables, bursting out of blackboards, toppling statues and vases twice he shut Mrs Norris inside a suit of armour, from which she was rescued, yowling loudly, by the furious caretaker.

None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help Umbridge. Indeed, a week after Fred and George's departure I'd witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn I'd heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way."

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