kalani's pov
i sat on gus' couch in silence, just looking at him waiting for him to say something. he was pacing his living room, searching for words. "i'm sorry" was all he said.
"what we're you thinking?" i asked. "i wasn't" he said
"well obviously". honestly, i was feeling really hurt.
"what did you come over for?" he asked, "i brought us food i was just coming over to say hi" i told him "but why does that matter? why were you about to fuck your ex on the couch?" i tried to keep him from changing the subject.
"i don't know kal, i wasn't thinking, i didn't even want to i swear i was thinking about you i just did it i don't know" he rambled on
"why was she even here?" i asked, "she asked to" he said, "and you let her?" i asked, a trace of disgust in my voice.
"yes, why am i defending myself like this to you kal, you aren't my girlfriend and i made a mistake i'm sorry" he said
"why are you getting mad at me?" he started to get me heated.
"i understand that you're upset and again i'm sorry but how many times have you come crying to me over calvin fucking some other girl?" he asked me
"that's different" i said, "how is it different?" he asked. i couldn't really answer.
"you're such a fucking asshole, how could you do this to me?" i asked him. "i'm not doing anything to you, i apologized. you know i want you over her any day" he told me.
"oh wow that makes me feel so much better" i said sarcastically.
"you hook up with him all the time, i meet up with my ex one time and i'm the bad guy" he started to argue back.
"i haven't in so long! i thought something was different between us" i was reluctant to admit my feelings for gus but i really thought we had something.
"okay but you're acting like i'm cheating on you, we aren't together" he reminded me again.
'god you are such a prick!" i yelled, standing up to walk out.
"kal wait, stop acting like a fucking bitch and let me talk" he said frustrated, grabbing my arm.
"don't call me a bitch" i said, pulling my arm from his grasp.
"do you have feelings for her?" i asked. he took longer to respond than i liked.
"no" he finally said. "i don't think i believe you" i told him, "why'd you ask then?" he threw his hands up in defeat.
"i didn't think you would hesitate" i said, "i didn't hesitate" he argued. "yes, you did" i told him
"god this is fucking stupid" he said, pushing his hair away from his face.
"oh i'm so sorry you're upset right now" i said with sarcastic sympathy
"i don't get it kalani, you and your ex can do whatever you please and you can use me as revenge and come crying to me anytime you like about him but i see my ex once, nothing even happened by the way, we kissed that was it and you're acting like i killed someone!" he yelled at me.
"i thought you liked me" i screamed, "i do!" he said "then why do this?" i asked.
"i told you that i don't fucking know like five times already" he continued to argue.
"i cant do this. i've had it, officially" i decided. he kept asking me to wait but i turned and walked out the door, not looking back.
-
i got home and laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. i was mad, and i was upset but i probably just ruined it forever.
i know i cried about calvin to him and that we weren't actually dating yet but i thought we both knew we had kind of entered a new territory recently.
but if i hadn't had walked in what would have happened? would he have told me? left me?
i had feelings for gus i was scared to admit to him, and didn't really know how to either. i didn't know how to tell him that seeing him with her made me infuriatingly jealous.
he hurt me but i also wasn't helping myself or him by not saying anything but i think i may have pushed him over the edge this time.
he didn't text, he didn't call. i would have expected him to chase me more.
but really, who ruined who here?
a/n: probably like five-ish chapters left of this? sorry if the spacing is fucked up sometimes i write on my phone sometimes my laptop . also is chapter length okay or do u want longer?
