Love Operation: Don't Become The Villainess

CHAPTER 33: ...

"Now I think you should be wary of her."

"Ha?"

"I-I mean..." he began to panic, "Didn't she say anything to you?"

I stared blankly at the cloudy skies, "What do you mean?"

"Did she not confess that she likes you?"

My shoulders slumped. Tila nawalan ako ng enerhiya, "She did."

Ah, I don't really have the energy for this right now.

"Doesn't that make her suspicious?"

Pero sa huli'y bahagya rin akong napangiti, "Tungkol nga doon sana yung ikukwento ko mamaya. Sabi niya nga may gusto siya sa akin but I think it's more like of an admiration instead of real like. It's nothing, really. I honestly don't care."

"But I do!" medyo tumaas ang tono ng boses niya.

"And I love you for that. But we're really just friends. The most I could do is set boundaries. I don't want to treat her like an object that's something I'd receive then throw away when I'm told to," I explained calmly, "But I don't really want to talk about it right now. Pahinga muna ako. I'll call you later. Maybe tonight."

"What? Wait! Catherine--"

"I love you."

I ended the call.

I stared at the screen of my phone after the call. Wala pang limang segundo ay muli nanaman siyang tumawag pero tuluyan ko na itong shinut down.

Napahawak ako sa aking noo nang maramdaman ko itong kumirot. Pakiramdam ko'y magkakasakit pa yata ako.

Gusto ko munang matulog.

Muli kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang field, mga buildings, kalangitan, at ang small forest sa unahan. I would've gone there pero sa library na lang muna ako tatambay kasi malayo pa kung sa forest. Tsaka baka kung doon ako ay magdire-diretso ang idlip ko, haha.

I inserted my phone back inside my pocket. Inayos ko ang pagkakasuot ng handbag ko sa aking balikat bago bumalik na sa loob para tumungo sa library.

On the way, I kept thinking about Josie and Ivan.

Should I cut her off to reassure him? But I think it would be too much on Josie's side... No, I won't do that. Matapos ng lahat na nangyari kanina...

And I firmly believe her 'feelings' for me really are nothing. Ah, bakit ba kasi nag-iimbestiga pa si Ivan? Wala ba siyang tiwala sa akin? May pagka-overreacting din talaga ang isang 'yon. Besides, I'm straight. I'm not into girls.

Basta, ayaw ko muna talaga makausap si Ivan sa ngayon. Paniguradong siya ang mapagbubuntungan ko ng galit at inis ko na ayaw kong mangyari.

I'm sure he understands.

Pagkarating sa library ay walang katao-tao maliban sa librarian dahil nga ay class hours. Nagtaka pa ang librarian nang makita ako pero nung parang namukhaan niya ako'y binati niya na lang ako sabay ay nanahimik. I just greeted her back and looked for a quiet and hidden spot to rest.

Ang lakas talaga ng mukha mo, Catherine, huhu.

Pagpasok sa library ay madaraanan ang desk ng librarian sabay sa gitna ng buong lugar ay ang mga upuan at lamesa na napaliligiran ng mga bookshelves. Beyond the chairs and tables is the grand staircase leading to the second floor where there are more bookshelves on each side.

Roon ako sa second floor. As I climbed up the grand staircase ay nadaanan ko pa ang isang malaking painting ng isa pang ancient and classic library na nakasabit sa harap ng hagdanan, for all to see. I went to the right side of the second floor, walked past by the rows of bookshelves on my left and the balcony on my right where I could see the ground floor, then stopped on the fifth shelf--I walked through it and there was a single table and chair beside the shelf in this secluded part of the second floor, just like how there are more single chairs and single tables beside the rows of each shelve.

Based on Catherine's memories, she would often also stay here to study or take a rest. It's a nice and quiet spot, dagdag pa ang malumanay na sinag ng araw na nagmumula sa arched na bintana sa tapat ng ikalimang bookshelf na ito, making the place seem more ethereal.

I sat on the chair, quietly dropping my handbag on the polished floral ceramic tiled floors, then stared into the nothingness of the more rows of tables and chairs in front of me. I was all alone, and it was very wonderful. My shoulders relaxed as I leaned backwards on the chair.

I slightly raised my head, closed my eyes and bathe in the delightful warm and gentle sunrays shining though the glass windows.

It was so peaceful.

...

I stayed like that for some time--I didn't even bother to check how long I was like that. I cleared my mind, forgetting the rest of the world and everything for a while. I just focused on myself, establishing my presence, reminding myself that I am real and I am here.

I just keep forgetting that truth because I keep slipping away from reality.

Nanatiling relaxed at kalmado ang ekspresyon ko, kahit na naramdaman kong may humarang sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha ko.

Pagbukas ko ng aking mga mata ay may nakatitigan akong mapaglarong kulay abong mga mata.

"Your eyes are of the same color as dust," I described, "Irritating, troublesome, dry, and time forgotten."

Luca chuckled in a low voice, "Then be careful not to suffocate, Cordova."