Cigarette Daydreams

2021 pt.1

A/N: Almost 3 months... I'm sorry

Things happen, time is short, I don't know if anyone will still read this story, but I'll be back soon.

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The snow-capped mountains that surround him are the definition of paradise for Lewis, being in Colorado is like returning to his special place, it's the place where he has the purest memories, it's the place where he spends his birthday with his family, it's the place he loves to spend the winter, it's the place where he loves to hide away in the summer, it's the place where only the most special people in his life can go, it's the place where he takes Max on their first vacation together.

The sound of laughter echoes louder because of the isolated location, and for Lewis it's proof that full happiness can exist, he watches Max engage in a serious snowball battle with his nephews and amuses himself by thinking that he could wake up every day and watch this scene. He can see the red tinge that hits his boyfriend's cheeks and nose making him look even more adorable, the blue eyes look even bluer amidst all the white, Lewis can only sigh in adoration.

This is the first time that Lewis has wanted a vacation to last forever.

"He's great with children." His father's voice awakens him from his trance. "Actually, he's great with everyone, I have to confess I was a little surprised, he's different from when he's on the track." Anthony adds.

"He knows how to separate the two worlds well, off the track he's sweet and gentle." He says sweetly.

"I can see that. I'm glad he's taken you away from that futile, empty life you used to lead, there's nothing better than building a family." His father says and pats his on the back.

Lewis looks at his father with a slight smile on his face, he remembers the years when his father would look at him with a bit of disgust and say that he had the Peter Pan syndrome, always despising the life of parties and non-commitment that he led and talking about how he needed to become a real adult, he remembers the countless times that his father would call him angrily after seeing photos of him spread all over the internet.

He remembers when they had a serious fight about it, it was during the winter break of 2017, he had spent his birthday in a Los Angeles nightclub, it was the first birthday he hadn't spent with his family, this had always been an important date for him and his family, but the frustration of losing the championship the way it happened was something that messed with his head, he didn't want peace, quiet and refuge, he wanted drinks and bodies glued to his, he wanted to forget, he wanted to be futile.

It was in the middle of this fight that he told his father for the first time about his sexuality, he had never said it out loud, he had never said it even to himself, he never felt the need to label himself, he liked the freedom to be whatever he wanted to be, besides nobody ever asked him, so he never had to think about it.

But as a way of defying his father, he said out loud that he was bisexual and that he might never form the family his father had envisioned for him. Perhaps that was the moment of greatest connection he had with Anthony, he remembers how the older man's eyes softened and his shoulders relaxed, he remembers the hug, and although they never had words, that hug was enough for him to feel that everything was all right.

After that, he stopped caring, he felt comfortable when his father made a point of adding a 'he', or 'boyfriend', to all his monologues about the importance of building a family.

"Now I know that, and I love it, I love what he and I are building." He says with a simple, passionate smile.

"I hope you don't let work take that away from you." Anthony says, and Lewis thinks how predictable this topic was from the person who taught him to be so in control of the present and the future.