Cigarette Daydreams

2022 part 8

Max comes like the rain in Japan, relentless, inevitable, beautiful and frightening, a true force of nature, and with all this grandeur Max wins, everyone already knew it was going to happen, Lewis was sure of this when the Red Bull driver's calm was seen in the moments of chaos, and when he towered over everyone as if he were indestructible and unbeatable in the good times.

God, or whatever force governs the universe, wanted it to be in the rain, in the turbulence, on the day that the thunder drowned out the sound of the engines, that day will always be marked as the confirmation of a new era in motorsport, the Verstappen era, that day was the confirmation that the Hamilton era was over, that day was the day that Lewis' heart sank and flowered at the same time.

Max has a different kind of happiness, looking at the videos and photos from last year Lewis noticed how relieved the blond looked, there was happiness there, but it was more like him being able to breathe well, for the first time in his life, after so much pressure, so many demands, the world being cruel, his father being cruel, their history, the tiredness finally going away, only peace of mind remaining, even if only for a short time.

Now Lewis can see genuine happiness, the blue eyes are like the sun in that dark sky, the light smile is the cool breeze between the cold, biting wind, all Lewis would like is to see the sun up close, to feel that cool breeze on his face, to share that happiness, that warmth.

The flowers die so easily that Lewis can barely smell them.

Max is still living in that farce, Lewis is still the past, so he won't feel any of it, he'll just wish, he hates this word, he hates that all he's been doing for months is feeling like this, wishing, wanting, longing, everything for the life he's lost.

He watches all the drivers congratulate Max, even Charles, he doesn't understand how the Monegasque can be so calm, maybe he can hide it well, maybe he accepted it a long time ago, Lewis can never understand people who just accept it, he would like to at least one day see life in a normal way, to at least one day not think too much and not feel too much.

George looks at him with a question in his eyes, it doesn't look like doubt, more like an alternative to leaving and ignoring it, but he's already ignored it once, he's already left once, he's already hidden once, and maybe that was the worst mistake of his life, so he decides not to leave.

Max is surprised when he approaches, they shake hands and he feels the 'congratulations' leaving his lips, but it's as if he's dissociating, he gets caught up in Max's eyes and time and space become just a detail. Max's eyes are not like the sun, at least not now, they are like the storm, they mirror the sky, they are deep and complex, Lewis understands that maybe Max is not the sun, and not in fact the storm, maybe Max is everything.

It doesn't last long, although Lewis's thoughts are abundant, time just passes slowly in his head, soon they are releasing hands, but before Max turns to continue talking to Alonso, he touches Max's arm and pulls him into a hug.

He doesn't really care about the sound of the cameras on them, he only cares about Max's arms going around him. "You were amazing, congratulations on that and on last year, on everything." He whispers with one hand covering his mouth, this isn't for the world, this is just for his world.

When they part, Max's eyes are bright, but not wet, because it's clear that the rain has gone, even if the storm continues. With one last smile he turns and walks back to George so that they can get on with their media duties.

"Mate, I'm sure I could feel everyone's tension when you hugged Max, I think people were so shocked that for a few seconds they forgot about the photos." George says, also shocked.

"What did they expect? That I'd go over there and yell at him?"

"No, but people don't expect you to care, and mate, that hug felt like you were holding the most precious thing in the world."