Cigarette Daydreams

2022 Part. 6

A/N: my laptop has been broken for a month now, and I've found that writing on my phone is the hardest thing in the world, but the worst part is translating my mother tongue into English afterwards, it took me ages.

_____

It's paralyzing, he can't even think, he doesn't even feel jealous, there's nothing to feel but empathy, it's almost unbelievable to imagine that this is happening, almost, because he's looking at the photo. He keeps looking, it's clearly dawn, Max is too close, the other man's hand is on his waist, just like the first night they were together, after Lewis warned Max about the dangers of being careless.

He closes his eyes and sighs heavily at this thought, he can't understand what Max was thinking when he put himself in this situation. If Lewis is optimistic, the two men in the photo don't exactly have their mouths so close together, the problem is in the rest of the photo with the other guy's hand on Max's waist and the Dutchman clearly leaning in to the touch, they were certainly going to kiss, he doesn't know what happened, but surely the kiss didn't happen or the photo would be there too, that relieves him somewhat.

But it's still bad, it's bad that Max is so devoted to someone else in such a public place, it's bad everything that people will assume from this one poor quality photo, it's bad how strong the Dutchman will have to be to face all the questions about his sexuality, it's bad if he has to come out like this, it's bad if he has to deny it, hide even more and hurt himself in the process.

It's all extremely fucked up and Lewis can feel his pain even from a distance.

George:

"Max must be devastated."

"What now?"

"I sent him a message, he didn't reply."

"Do you think I should talk to the others?"

"I don't know what to do."

"Lewis wake up!"

"For God's sake, I'm desperate."

"If I'm like this, can you imagine how Max must be?"

"I'll call you."

"Pick up."

Lewis:

"I just saw it."

George:

"Thank heaven you're awake."

"What are you going to do?"

He didn't even know he had to do anything, he didn't even think about the possibility, he didn't think about anything other than that photo.

Lewis:

"Should I do something?"

George:

"I don't know, you're not obliged to do anything Lewis."

"I just think you'd be the one to understand Max now, not because of your sexuality, but because of what you've already been to each other."

"Lewis, he must be desperate."

Maybe that's why he was never so interested in switching off the damn green light in George's head, sometimes the youngest can make him see things in his own eloquent way. But of course, it works, he quickly gets up and goes to brush his teeth and put some clothes on, he doesn't even want to imagine the level of panic Max is feeling right now.