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Trigger Warning: Talks/depiction of grape, murder, blood, abuse
All I could remember as a kid was my father always screaming at my mom, me or my older brother Chan-Yeong because something didn't go his way. I never understood why he was always so angry with us when we did nothing wrong to him.
The earliest memory of my childhood was hiding under the dining table with my ears covering my ears when I was about five. I remember my parents screaming at each other because my father gambled most of our money away that day and my mom was so mad. I've never seen her so mad before. She was the sweetest woman, always loving on me and Chan-Yeong whenever my father was around but here she was, holding a baseball bat, ready to kick my father's ass while my father threatened her.
I remember just whimpering, trying to stay quiet so he wouldn't notice me as I was terrified of him. He looked like a demon from my storybook and I wanted him to disappear. I looked up, seeing legs coming to the table. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, waiting for the verbal assault but nothing happened. My parents were still screaming at each other but the person standing there wasn't them. I opened my eyes, seeing Chan-Yeong's face staring at me in concern. He reached out a hand to me, "Come on, Nina." He said, using his nickname for me. "Let's go upstairs."
I grabbed onto his hand and allowed him to take me from my safe space. "Oppa," I whimpered as I felt the warm tears falling down my cheeks. He took a deep breath, looking pissed off with the situation before he picked me up, carried me to his bedroom and locked the door behind us, the sounds of our parents fighting started to quieten down.
He sighed softly and sat me down on his bed, "Don't mind him. He's not worth your tears." He said, wiping the tears from my face before wrapping a throw-over blanket around my body, "You're okay." He said as I was shaking so badly from fear. "He isn't worth your time, Nina. Trust me. When I'm out of here, I'll take you with me." He said, promising me. "You're never going to be left alone." He said, holding his pinky out to me. I nodded and linked with it before touching my thumbs with him.
"Don't leave me, Chan," I said, my voice coming out all wobbly from my fear.
He nodded with a smile, "Of course. I don't make promises that I can't keep. I'll work hard to get you out."
I smiled at him, relaxing with him as he was my safe space. He was always my safe space but he wasn't always there for me. He had to leave me alone at some point.
I sighed softly as I looked out the window of my school, letting the breeze hit my face. I didn't care much about school but I promised Chan-Yeong that I was going to go to college, so I could have a better life. I leaned back against the wall as I was sitting on the window pane, watching everyone play around outside as it was recess. I wished I could be as carefree as everyone down there but I have so much on my head, that I can't shut it off.
