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TW- talks of SA and death
I stood in the back, behind everyone as they cried over the people who were buried. I didn't know anyone well and I certainly wasn't going to cry over that creep. He was lucky we gave him a quick death because if it had hurt Ae-ri, he would've been strung up by his ankles and beaten like a pinata. I sighed softly and picked up Ae-ri, placing her on my hip.
The two kids, Su-yeong and Yeong-su, walked over to one of the new people, An Gil-seob, who was a lovely older man. He was a sweetheart, something that we all needed right now. I watched as they gave him flowers. He looked at them before he walked over, putting one on each grave, "We were born humans and we'll die humans." He saluted the graves.
After a while, I turned and walked away from the sight, not wanting to be there anymore. I couldn't bring myself to feel something. I felt sad for Jin-ok because she had lost her daughter in front of her. I couldn't imagine the pain she was in and I was trying to avoid her as I didn't want her to think I was rubbing my daughter, alive in her face. She didn't need that, especially right now.
I walked towards the cage where they were keeping all the infected, something that I was against but was overruled when Eun-hyuk demanded it. I got to the door, ignoring who was on duty and looked over the door, seeing Hyun-su, curled up as usual, "Hyun-su a!" I said, making me look at me. I opened the door and moved to sit down next to him, placing Ae-ri on my lap. "Are you okay?"
He looked at me and Ae-ri before nodding, "I should be asking you that." He said quietly, "Are you okay?" His eyes roamed over me, clearly trying to find some problems, making me shrug, "You can tell me..."
I looked him in the eyes, "Is it wrong that I don't feel sorry that I did that? That I beat that man within an inch of his life? I didn't enjoy it but I don't regret it." I whispered, "Is it normal?"
He sighed softly, "You're human. You don't have to feel the same emotions that others are feeling. No one is giving you a hard time, right?"
I shook my head, "Most stay away from me... Which I'm glad about." I said quietly, "To be honest, it wasn't my first time doing something like that." I admitted.
"What do you mean?"
I sighed softly, "When I was sixteen, I was raped by someone I knew. I didn't want to wallow in my pity, not after finding out I was pregnant. So I followed him one day, seeing him be all happy and content with his life while I was suffering. All I felt was the pain from that night and I saw red. All I wanted to do was kill him. I waited until he was alone and attacked him. But instead of leaving him alive, I killed him." I took a deep breath, feeling his eyes on me.
"I didn't realise how much anger and sadness I had inside me but I had to stop him. So he wouldn't do it to someone else. My dad paid off the lead detective and someone else took the fall for me. That's how I ended up here. To pay my debt with Ae-ri. So I won't hurt anyone else." I explained, seeing the look on his face, "I won't hurt you, I promise. Not like I really can."
