Jewel's POV
1 month later...
My stomach has swollen some and it is easy for me to tell that I am pregnant. Jake and Addie assure me that it is still hardly noticeable and that I shouldn't even worry about it. The woman body changes when it becomes pregnant. Nothing can be as it was.
It really can't...
Eric has become more and more distant. The past week, he hasn't stayed the night once and I hardly see him anymore. Four has told me that Eric has been super busy with leadership and that things have been hectic. Apparently, Erudite and Dauntless are at each others throats.
None of that phases me, though. Fear holds me back from out right asking Eric what's wrong. If I do see him, I feel foolish and vulnerable, like even the slightest of words could set him off. I'm not sure if he's actually angry or if it is just me building up all this paranoia up in my head.
As of now, I sit in the cafeteria, across from Jake who seems very preoccupied with an instructional manual.
"I would have stayed in my room, if I had known you were just going to ignore me the whole time."
Jake snaps his head up, as if I had suddenly startled him. He hurriedly closes the book and slides it away.
"Sorry, that was rude of me. How are you feeling?" His brown eyes shine with remorse and his lips curve up into an apologetic smile.
I shrug my shoulders and clasp my fingers together on top of the hard table. "I'm fine, I guess. Physically, everything is fine. Emotionally, it is all exhausting."
"Well, when you're basically alone, I'm sure it is." Jake sneers his words and it makes me cringe at the sound of sudden anger in his tone.
Am I alone?
Truthfully, I don't want to think about it. I'm only 2 months in with 8 more to go. There is no reason to start complaining now. Nothing is really wrong....
"I get to find out the sex of the baby in a couple of weeks." I watch as Jake's eyes brighten at the subject change. His hand instinctively reaches for mine. His thumb softly strokes over my knuckles, making me smile.
"What do you want it to be?"
"A girl." I say, too quickly. The thought of having a boy that could end up being anything like Eric makes my skin crawl.
Jake's fingers grasp mine more tightly while he continues to stroke his thumb over my skin. He smiles with a certain joy that makes my stomach turn.
"A girl would be good for you." He guarantees.
A large crowd of people enter into the cafeteria and among them is Eric. I retract my hand from Jake's immediately and let it fall in my lap. Jake turns his head around to see what all the fuss is about. In that moment, he makes eye contact with Eric. It's like I'm watching things in slow motion.
Eric returns a death glare that I assume Jake is giving him and then his eyes turn to me. They narrow with anger and I already know that I'm in trouble. Jake quickly turns back around but I hold my gaze on Eric as he makes his way to the leader's table. Not once does he break eye contact.
My skin raises with goosebumps as I watch his fists ball up. My instinct is to get up and run to my room but that would be childish and I shouldn't be afraid of the father of my unborn child.
This is all ridiculous, I think to myself. If only Eric told me what was going on and became open to my friends, he wouldn't have to be angry about anything. But then I remember that Eric takes pride in being angry and having the power to be cruel to others.
"He's going to be a wonderful father." Jake seethes. His sarcastic words almost send me into a frenzy of panic and hot tears brim to the top of my eye lids.
I'm up on my feet within seconds, heading for the exit. I can't stand to be around all of these people. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eric look in my direction but I don't stay long enough to watch his facial expression change. I run, not once looking back to see if anyone has followed me.
Jake's right.
Eric could never be the father that this child deserves and I'm foolish for ever thinking that he could hold up to such a responsibility.
Once I'm safe inside and the door is locked behind me, I rush to my bed, smothering myself under the covers. No one is here to watch me pity myself. If my mother could see me now, I know what she would say.
Don't cry over spilled milk, darling. What's done is done.
And she would be right. I made a decision to give myself away to a man that is incapable of love or affection. Incapable of caring for another human being. I should have listened to the warnings when I had the chance but no. I did what I wanted.
The sound of the door rattling brings me out of my cyclone of thoughts and I hear it open and then to be slammed shut.
Eric.
I pull myself farther under the covers, in an attempt to hide from him. He's suddenly standing in my doorway with a grim look on his face. His fists are still clenched and that frightens me.
"Why are you crying?" He asks, point blank.
The question actually shocks me because I wouldn't think that he would care. I slowly wrap my fingers around the large comforter and bring it down so that my mouth is no longer hidden under the fabric.
With a hard swallow, I begin speaking but only a whisper.
"It's nothing...I'm just emotional right now." This doesn't seem to convince him. Eric begins walking towards, his breathing is heavy with frustration. He sets on the edge of the bed, nearest me and grabs the covers. Swiftly, he pulls them away from me, revealing my whole body to him.
His eyes linger on mine for few seconds and then move down to my stomach. Slowly, his right hand comes up and he gently pushes up the material of my shirt. I flinch at his sudden touch and he retracts his hand but then places it back down on my swollen tummy.
I want to scream for help.
"Are you feeling okay?"
Again, I'm shocked by his question.
Does he suddenly care?
His hands rubs gently over my skin, ever so often stopping in certain places as if he's trying to feel the baby. He brings his eyes back up to mine and I see that he's serious as to what he asked.
He does care.
"I'm fine." I don't sound fine but physically, I'm fine. All the tears have dried and now I watch Eric, closely. His presence seems so foreign. His touch is indescribable.
"Jake doesn't think I'll take care of you like I should." He stops rubbing my tummy and bores his eyes into mine. It was not a question but a statement. I have to remember that Eric is very smart, nothing can truly ever stay secret from him.
I place my hand on top of his and breath out a heavy sigh.
"He doesn't think you will be a good father."
I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. When I got back from my trip, our internet had been cut off, so I couldn't use my laptop. But thank you to all my faithful readers who have hung in there. You all are the best. I also wanted to say that I am starting a new story called Haunt and I'll be posting the first chapter of it tonight. I hope you will all go check it out. Again, I apologize for the delay.
Love you all,
DauntlessAmity4ever
