The Final Chapter
The last month of Jewel's pregnancy
*****
I can't remember how all of this started. I don't remember who I was a year ago. I can't recall the person I was before I met Eric. Flashbacks come and go, reminding me that I had a life before him. One that was much different than I have now.
Things were simpler back then. I didn't have the faintest idea of how much violence could be caught up in one person. I didn't even know what violence was. Eric has changed me. For the better? I still can't say. We've been through a lot.
Our baby is close to being here.
The anticipation of her arrival is almost unbearable. Eric is anxious more than usual. Like now for instance, I watch him pace back and forth through the kitchen while he rubs his chin, frustrated about something, obviously.
"What's wrong?" I ask from the couch.
He continues pacing.
"We still haven't decided what we're going to call her."
Because I no longer want to have that argument.
I fold my legs together indian style and place my hands over my swollen belly.
"I've told you what I like but you refuse to accept any of my recommendations."
For weeks now, Eric and I have gone back and forth on what we are going to name our baby girl. I'll give out a few names and he shoots all of them down. He'll bring a few up and I have to wonder where he got them from. We are having a girl. I have to remind him constantly that she doesn't have to be a soldier just because that's what he wants.
Eric sighs in frustration and walks over to me, setting beside me on his couch. He reaches over and begins rubbing over my belly. A smirk rises on his pink lips.
"I think I'll miss you being pregnant."
I stare at him in shock, not able to believe what he just said.
"Really?"
He keeps his gaze down, only watching his hand move up and down. Sometimes, I think he can see her.
"I like seeing you this way. Knowing that my baby grows inside you. You're fucking gorgeous."
He lifts his eyes up to me now and I see his genuine seriousness.
Butterflies take flight in my core and I can't help but smile at him like a giddy teenager.
I lean forward but Eric reaches me half way and places a firm kiss to my lips.
It couldn't be him. Not the Eric I know. What happened? When did he become this way? Was it me? Did I change him? Or was it the baby?
A reoccurring thought pops into my head.
Neither one of use has said I love you.
Do I love Eric? Does he love me?
I would hate to think that he's only acting like this because of the baby.
"Eric?"
"Hmm?"
He gives me another soft kiss before leaning back and staring at my face. There is a smile on his lips, something that I don't see too often but there it is. Stretched from ear to ear. He looks like someone else.