Love doesn't have to be hard

Chapter 44: Tough Discussion with the kids

Zed had held her all night, even waking her when she was having a bad dream. He felt so horrible. How could he have done this to her?

She has stood by and supported him through everything. She had listened to him and talked to him. 

He promised her he would never cheat on her, and even tho he didn't remember that night, he had cheated on her. 

The moment he saw the first picture of Xavier, he knew that he was his son. He had hoped Sasha was lying, but after seeing the picture, he knew she wasn't.  

He would have preferred to have never known he had another child. Then he wouldn't feel like shit. He had cherished every moment of holding his wife last night. 

He wanted to take his time and be sure she was ready before anything happened. He wanted her to cheat so he wouldn't feel so bad. No, he didn't; he liked the fact he was the only man she had been with. 

He arranged for their flight to Memphis to meet Xavier, and Sasha said she had talked to him about my family and me. 

She had always been honest with him and told him that I didn't know he even existed. Xavier had given Sasha a reason to better her life. She worked really hard to support him, and then he got sick.

She said she had thought about calling me when he was first diagnosed but didn't want to disrupt my life and only called when it became serious. 

She asked me if she could call and speak to Tessa. I told her that Tessa and I were taking some time apart. Tess had asked me to leave so she could process what I had told her.

She apologized to me and said she felt Tessa would be more forgiving if she talked to her. I texted her this morning and told her that we would be flying to Memphis to meet Xavier on Thursday.

Tessa had been very restless last night. I lay here and rubbed her arm, I barely slept last night. I just wanted to watch her sleep and listen to her breathe. Those three nights apart about killed me.  

Tessa moves and opens her eyes. She looks at me and smiles a sad smile. "Why are you just staring at me?"

"You looked so beautiful sleeping. I have spent many nights staring at you while you sleep. Wondering how in the fuck I got so lucky to marry you and spend my life with you."

She rolled her eyes and sat up, "Zed, I am trying to move past this. In order for me to do that we have to try and go back to normal."

"I'm trying, Tess. I really am."

"No, Zed, you aren't. You are walking around on eggshells. Trying to capture every minute to ensure if it ends you have something to remember. Zed, I love you, and I meant what I said last night. I don't think I could survive this life without you. So, can we please try to get back to our life before that phone call?" 

"Yes, Tess, baby. That means for you as well. You haven't called me anything but Zed since I told you. You haven't kissed me; previous to that phone call, you couldn't keep your hands or eyes off of me."

"You're right; I am trying, so just bear with me. Our kids need to see us trying to work through this. I'm sorry for how I have been acting, babe." He leaned in and kissed her, a passionate kiss that had her panting for breath.

She rubbed her hands up and down his back. "Fuck, I need you so bad." She pulled his boxers off, and he smiled at her. He slid down her body, peppering kisses all the way down until he reached her core. 

He licked her, and she pulled his hair. He slid his tongue around her wetness. She was so wet for him, and he loved that. It meant she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.