𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐀

12. Sickness

hi guys!

what food reminds you of your family?

song: 'Bags' by Clairo

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The cold, crisp air hits my skin, and I shiver as I cross my arms. I walk alone through the night, feeling sick to my stomach, as I look around for anyone to help.

I was lightheaded, my throat sore, and I sniffle,  wiping my nose on my shirt. I come to a stop and cover my mouth, the feeling of bile rising in my throat, and I retch onto the path in front of me. I fall down and continue to be sick, my breathing turning shaky and weak, as I collapse onto my side, heaving.

I can't do this anymore. I've been sick for the past week, and it's only been getting worse. I haven't stopped vomiting for days, and the pain in my head keeps growing, feeling like my skull was about to shatter.

I shiver as I curl myself into a tight ball, and I steady my breathing. Breathe In ... and Out. In ... and out. I vomit again beside me, the smell revolting, as I sit up and tears softly fall down my cheeks.

I sway, as I look around me. I was lost, sick, and starved, with nowhere to go. I sit on the pavement, watching as the cars drive past, not giving me a second glance. I look up at the stars, and smile faintly at the moon.

It shone brighter than any star, and yet, it was just a reflection. Always a shadow, and never in the light. I admired the moon. I lie down, looking up at the night sky, admiring the stars from afar. So small, yet so bright.

My eyes began to feel heavy, as I let them close, but a voice in the back of my head gently whispered to me. "You close your eyes, and they won't open. You need to keep fighting."

I open my eyes, and stare back at the face of a beautiful young woman. Her curly chocolate hair billows around her face, and her soft, blue eyes crinkle as she smiles sadly. I know her.

"Mom?" I ask, as she offers me a hand. I take it, and she sits beside me, delicately running her fingers through my soft curls, tucking them behind my ears. "You have to keep going, Angel. You have people who are waiting for you, and you need to do it for them."

"But I'm so tired, Mom." I sigh sadly, as she wraps me in her arms. "I know, baby, I know. But you need to wake up now."

I look at her with confusion, as her face changes into one of panic. "Wake up, Angel, wake up!" She yells, as someone shakes my shoulders.

"Mom? Mom!" I scream, as I jerk awake.

My body jolts upright, my mind reeling, and I instinctively clamp my hand over my mouth. Rolling onto my side, I hurl up the contents of my stomach, my head throbbing and my throat burning. The nausea persists, and sweat trickles down my spine.

As I finally stop retching, a wave of tears wells up in my eyes. I sink back onto the bed, shutting my eyes tightly. Suddenly, a voice breaks through the haze, "Tesoro?" I blink my eyes open to see my father standing there. "Dad?" I whisper, his hand grabbing mine in comfort.

"What are you doing in here?" I ask. "We could hear you screaming so we ran inside, but you were having a nightmare, and by the looks of it, you're sick." I sit up, my head spinning, as I get up off the bed. "I'm fine, really, I'm not sick-"

The familiar feeling washes over me, and I bend over and vomit onto the floor again."Angel, you need to lay down." I look around, and notice all of my brothers were here, even Lorenzo, looking worried.