Reincarnated into Lovers {DouAka}

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH ANGST!?/Part 5

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊°‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊°‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡

*     *     DOUMA'S pov.

Boredom strikes me, I tend to get bored easily, especially when Akaza or another Kizuki isn't around. I sigh, messing with my war fans as they glisten and shimmer. I look at them, being able to see my reflection. Akaza walks into my room quietly, I focus on him in the reflection.. He seems 'out of it. I fold my fan so it's shut before speaking..

"I know you're in here, Akaza."

"Holy shit– You scared me!" He yelps, flinching visibly as he turns around and faces my side. I turn my body so I'm facing him, swaying from side-to-side to entertain myself.

"Good, 'maybe knock first, Akaza."

"Oh shut up– But I have a question.." He approaches me and sits in front of me, seeming to be avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yes?"

"Why are you so bitter?" He whispers, glancing over at me. I return his look, mine not being nervous like his. I glare at him for a second, my eyes harsh and signaling that I'm not going to open up to him.

"I don't know, why would you even ask me that kind of question?"

"I was just curious–"

"I get that; But it's the way you said it, Akaza–"

"I didn't mean it in a rude way–" We keep cutting each-other off, not letting the other one fully explain.

"Okay, sorry for being a prick when you asked me that.. I guess I wasn't comfortable with opening up to you."

"I apologize for asking that question, I was being stupid; I don't think sometimes and it gets in the way with everything and–" Akaza starts to ramble on, I hold his shoulder, shaking him gently once to get him to snap out of it.

"Sorry.." He whispers, his cheeks becoming red in what's probably embarrassment.

"It's okay, calm down, Akaza." Akaza flicks his eyes to mine, I skim his face over, realizing how beautiful he is. I snap out of it and take my hand off his shoulder, not wanting to become all 'lovey-dovey' for Akaza, a guy who I basically just meant.

"Sorry, I just panic sometimes and I rant on and on.." He mutters, looking at the floors.

"Don't apologize, you can't help it, Akaza." I'm not the best when it comes to calming people who are in a state of panic.. Why? Because I've never really had to calm someone who was frantic before. That's because I usually see panic when I kill and eat women.. I don't need to calm them, because it wouldn't change the outcome for them anyway.

I watch as Akaza's thumbs twirl in circles, fidgeting with his pinkies as his hands stay moving. Is he nervous? Why else would he be fidgeting if he wasn't nervous or stressed? Maybe he's just tired.

"Douma, why can't I protect others with my strength?" Akaza asks, his voice quiet as his eyebrows furrow and his body stiffens. His question takes me by surprise, I think for a second, before gathering an answer for his request.

"You can.. But it'll be harder because demon slayers will be after you, and since you don't look exactly human–"

"Why I can't I just look fucking normal!? I know I did shit in the past that gave me the tattoos that are still on me today– But why can't I be normal!?" Akaza shivers, tears glazing his eyes as his face expresses pain.

"Akaza, no one can ever be normal, it's just the way the world works–"

"But why can't I look like you, Douma!? Why can't I appear human so people don't fear me and run away from me!? I never wanted to be 'this, I just want to be able to protect myself and others.." I shift my eyes to Akaza, who's wiping his eyes with his hand and hanging his head. I lift his chin up with my finger, Akaza; Not wanting to be seen crying, pushes my hand away softly before relaxing and hanging his head again. I notice his tears as they slowly fall down his cheeks. I'm usually not affected by the sorrow or suffering of others, but I feel upset knowing that Akaza's crying.

"Akaza.. Demons aren't meant to help people it's impossible–"

"No it's not! That's just a fucking expectation!" Akaza yells, covering his face with his hands as he cries.

"Have you ever thought of lying? Say you have some skin disease that makes your skin appear grayish. And I'm sure they wouldn't be able to see your eyes." I suggest, keeping my tone calm. Akaza slowly lifts his face from his hands, wiping his eyes and cheeks as he looks at me, appearing to be thinking about my words.

"I haven't.." Akaza chuckles quietly, a smile creasing his lips slightly. He doesn't give me any time to react before he hugs me tightly. "Thank you, Douma."

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊°‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊°‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡

Word Count (Not including banner thing(s) above ^ , this text, or the text below v.): 814

{Sorry if there's a lot of angst, my writing kind-of drifts towards angst. I don't think my brain was wired right.}    Insert copied and pasted message because my brain can't think of anything to put in as of right now. v

Have a wonderful day/night/afternoon/morning and stay safe out there. -ButterCat