Where'd he come from?

Just you and i?

//150 reads??? Thank y'all so much oml and thank you to all the people who comment on my parts like it makes my day I also just jumped up SO MANY ranks on this story words cannot describe how grateful I am//

It's killing me not to rip that knife across both my arms.

I almost do it, what's the worst that could happen?

I remember that thing with Evan tonight.

Good thing I'm a very smart girl and I cut on my stomach, it's covered by my clothes.

Im proud of myself for being so wise.

A big smile beams on my face as I blot the blood from the cuts.

These are a lot deeper than I remember.

The wounds hurt more than I remember.

These cuts are too long for me to bandage, without wrapping up myself like a mummy.

It's just now a wave of realization hits me.

It hit me a second ago, but this time it's for real.

I slide down my cabinets, I feel like I might pass out.

My eyes sting, I am not proud anymore.

I am ashamed that I think I'm sooo important, that I think I matter soooo much.

In reality, no one fucking cares.

Not one god damn person gives two flying fucks.

Maybe a few people do, but compared to the rest of the world, no one will remember me.

I'm nothing but a mist in this world.

Here for a second, gone the next.

So is everyone else, none of us will be remembered.

Maybe a few of us will go down in history, but everyone's gonna be forgotten.

So why should I care?

Why should you care?

What makes you think I care about your existence?

Nothing makes me think that you care about mine?

You don't know me, and I don't know you.

No one knows me, and no one knows you.

You know, we're always changing, always hiding things.

No one knows the real you.

If I died right now, you shouldn't care.

Only a small particle of the world would really care.

They would eventually get over it too.

So you see, nothing matters.

Nothing you will ever do actually has an impact on this fucked up world.

So fuck it, do whatever you want.

No one's gonna remember I cut myself tonight, right?

Just one more time

I know that these will scar, but I do not care.

I wont fret that someone will find out.

They will heal in a couple of weeks, and no one will care anymore.

I only get a short time on this earth, if cutting makes me happy then so be it.

Only I am responsible, so why care?

Yeah, I'm talking to you, reading this right now.

Why do you care that I, Autumn Henry, am still alive?

Do you even care how I feel?

If I killed myself right now, what makes me so important that you'd care?

No answer? That's what I thought.

Im no longer sad, but angry.

I've been sitting here longer than I thought, it is 4pm.

I just lay in bed till 5, thinking of a reason I should stay on this earth, or how my death would affect people.

I just wallow in the bed, debating plunging a knife through my throat.

I don't know why I feel this way, I just do.

I think it's because i feel like a burden.

Like I'm always some sort of problem.

So I take my anger out on myself, by cutting.

I don't really regret it.

I regret not thinking to cut on my stomach earlier!

It's so much easier to hide, I don't have to worry about bandaids or long sleeves.

My anger turns into pride, again.

Let me get a little more personal, you.

What's your name?

Do you know what it's like to cut? No?

It's like......painting a painting!

One color, one shade, one brush.

The color is, of course, your blood.

The brush is your blade.

You spend all this time 'painting' and then, the picture at the end is, ugly.

The final portrait is the scar, that never goes away.

They can turn different colors, depending on how deep you cut.

White is shallow, purple is deep and keloid is super deep.

Do you know who long it took me to get a keloid scar?

I wanted one so bad, to prove that I was doing it right.

I don't know why I wanted it, I needed to prove something to myself.

Okay, enough talk about me, why did you cut?

I know you have, so why?

You don't have to say it, just think.

All these reasons filled your head and you can't quite pick one?

That's how it is.

You want some bad news?

You'll never find the right one.

You'll never know the answer.

Scary, right?

Well, I'll leave you alone, reader, I have some getting ready to do.

Thanks for listening to me, you helped me.

It felt good to get that off my chest.

I'm sure, you needed to get that off too.

I may never know your name or see you ever again.

Have a good day, or night or evening or whatever you do.

Maybe we could have another heart to heart again?

                            Just you and I?

//I'm sorry y'all I got in my feels while I was writing this and I got a tad carried away//