Where'd he come from?

He is breaking my heart

//how many parts of this fic do y'all want?? And who do y'all want me to write abt next?//

I am insecure of my feelings.

I want to tell Evan or Blaire, but I am too scared.

I feel as though it's too early.

-

"Blaire?" I say.

The work rush has just finished at our job.

"Yeah?" She says, she leans on the counter I am also leaning on.

"I kinda have something to tell you." I'm very nervous.

I have been thinking I am trans for three months now.

I can't keep it in any longer, "I think I'm trans." I say.

"Really?" She says, "I'll support you. Do you have a new name or pronouns?"

"I'm thinking Ash, short for ashton." I reply, "he/him?" I ask.

(I just now realized one of her coworkers names in ash so like his new name is mike🤩)

"Yes, of course. I love you ash." She hugs me.

"How do I tell Evan?" I ask, "I'm not even sure if I am trans. I feel like it's too early."

"Well, we can try the pronouns and stuff and if you don't like it, then we won't tell Evan." She replys.

"Would you still be friends with me?" I'm still not convinced she still cares about me now.

"Of course I am, autumn." She stops, "ash."

I smile, maybe she does really care.

She hugs me.

-

I want to tell Evan, I don't want to be called autumn anymore.

I don't even resonate with that name anymore.

Blaire has been calling me ash and a he for about a month.

Summer is almost over.

I used to be excited for autumn.

That was my name.

It was autumn, and so was i.

But I am not autumn anymore.

I am ash.

I remember that Evan said he would still love me if I was a boy.

I do not believe him.

I will find out, tonight.

-

Evan visits me at my shift.

Not in the morning, at the end.

He orders his usual and after I make it, he drives me to his house.

It was the end of my shift anyway.

I basically live with Evan and cam now.

Sean bean has taken a liking to me.

We are best friends, and so are me and cam.

Evan is also very close to me.

He cuddles me on the couch as cam and bean cuddle too.

We are all watching a movie.

Blaire knows cam and Evan, but they are not close.

I ask cam to leave the room, I want to talk to Evan.

Blaire helped me make the decision to tell him.

"Evan," I say, "I need to talk to you."

I pull away from our cuddle.

"Am I in trouble?" He asks.

"No," I say, "but, remember how you said you'd still love me if I was a boy?"

"Yes." He drags out the word, almost as if it's a question.

"Well," I take a deep breath, "I think I am one."

I look at my feet.

Evan looks stunned, I can't tell if he's mad.

"Are you mad?" I ask.

"No, I support you, 100%." His face switches, he grabs my hands.

"What's your new name?" He inquires.

"Ash." I answer, I'm still scared.

"Okay, ash it is. I don't love you any less. I just have a boyfriend, instead of a girlfriend." He smiles at me.

His lips meet mine, "see," he pulls away. "Our kisses still taste the same."

I'm so grateful for Evan, he understands me.

We ask cam to come back in, I ask Evan to tell him.

He supports me too.

They both agree to call me ash, and to call me a boy.

I think I am in love with Evan.

I know it has only been three months, but I think I do.

I don't think I've ever loved anyone before.

Not like this.

I hope Evan feels the same as I do.

I will tell him, soon.

-

Today, I'm going to get my haircut.

Blaire, Evan and cam have all been calling me ash for 6 months now.

Me and Evan have been dating 8.

The haircut I got is a boy haircut.

I kept my middle part and cut my hair to the length of my grown out bangs.

Around my eyes.

Evan tells me I am still beautiful.

It feels like Evan doesn't like me anymore.

He has been distant these last few months.

It hurts my heart.

It really has me wondering if Evan cares about me anymore.

He doesn't kiss me the same.

He doesn't hold me the same.

He doesn't feel the same,

It's breaking my heart.

He is breaking my heart.

//sorry for the short chapter but I have literally no motivation for this story I'm sorry//