Where'd he come from?

//this is the last part I'm so sorry but I'm starting a new one I'll prob get it out Tmr but I just got a new puppy so I might be a little behind//

Evan texted me today, he asked me to get back together with him.

I said no.

I've realized that it wasn't good for me to date Evan again.

It hurt me to tell myself that.

I didn't want it to be true, but it is.

Being in a relationship in general isn't good for me, unfortunately.

As much as I love the feeling of being loved, I must love myself first.

Love comes from within.

I can't love anyone if I can't love myself.

If I can't find who I am, how can I help someone find who they are?

There will be someone new who comes along, at the right time, at the right place.

He'll be everything I've ever wanted, even more than Evan.

Evan will find someone too, I know he will.

He is a good man.

-

My life is basically back to normal.

It's been a few months, since I got out the hospital.

It's going good.

Sometimes, I think of what it would be like if blaire didn't find me.

It's not a good feeling, I'm glad she found me.

I'm glad I am friends with her.

She helped me find who I am.

If it wasn't for her, I'd be dead.

I've never told her how I feel about her.

I don't know if I will.

-

I've been going to work for a few weeks.

Evan doesn't visit me anymore.

I can't say I don't want him too.

I can't say I don't love him.

It makes me sad that he's moved on.

I don't know why, I've moved on.

-

Today would've been me and evans 2 year anniversary.

It makes me sad.

To see him thriving on social media.

Does he feel the same about me?

Does he stalk my accounts and get sad at the smile on my face?

Is he sad that the smile isn't from him?

Does he ever wanna text me?

Tell me he still cares?

I know I do.

I don't think I'll ever get over him though.

I thought I was, but I'm not.

I know it's better that we are apart, but it doesn't feel like it.

Will I ever find someone new to love?

Will blaire ever realize how I feel?

Ugh, this is stressful.

I'm sitting on my bed, staring, with my head between my knees.

My lights are set to purple, it's too bright.