I never know why. I only know who. (AU)

Chapter 21

Clara was stood by the bus stop, just as she said she would be. John didn't really expect much less though. They'd begun walking to school together in the mornings, so it wasn't really an unusual sight.

Only thing that was different was that they're were going to get a different bus so they could go to the hospital. John could see that Clara was nervous from a distance.

He felt scared too. She was already at twelve weeks. There was no turning back from here. This was her way of accepting the full extent of the reality. She had been managing to brush it under the carpet, simply because no-one could really tell that she was pregnant at all. It's not like it showed, and she'd never been the one to wear tight clothes in the first place.

The only thing that was really noticeable was the sickness and the eating. Dave had already been through several bouts of Clara asking for a certain thing and then having to throw it out and make something else. He obliged without complaining, no matter how many times she apologised over it. She must have had double meals for at least two weeks, simply because her stomach and nose refused to agree with each other.

John smiled at her as he made his way to the bus stop. It wasn't a particularly nice day, the drizzling rain mixed with the cold breeze made it feel dismal and depressing. In John's opinion, this was the worst weather. When the sky was grey and there was no sign of sun anywhere, the cold nipping your skin as tiny pieces of droplets fell down onto your skin, tearing away from the clouds, layers at a time.

It always made him feel quite saddened, and he would have been lying if he said that simply Clara's small smile didn't make his day seem so much brighter than it had been five seconds before.

It put a small spring in his step, reaching Clara sooner than before with a small smile on his face. She gave him an unsure face in return and he took no hesitation in pulling her into a soft hug, rubbing her back soothingly as he kissed her forehead.

"It'll be fine Clara." He promised, trying to make her feel like she shouldn't be scared.

So far they had been referring to the baby as "The issue" or "the thing." Simply, it was the one subject they didn't talk about. No-one said baby. Not ever. But this would show them that.

"I know. I'm just...what if I don't love it? Like how you're meant to at first sight. You know, in the movies?" She whispered, looking back up at him for answers. He took a small breath, but her eyes didn't divert from his face.

"Clara, I know you will love it, no matter what." John mumbled, not even sure himself. They both bore a small amount of hatred for the situation, they would have been lying to say the didn't. Anyone in their position would. This would be the end of everything but at the same time, it was the start of something else. And no-one knew which one you weren't meant to dwell on. If they were six years older, people would be rejoicing, but they're not so people are pitying them.

"I...I know." She mumbled, keeping her arms wrapped around John's chest as he was warm, and it was pretty cold outside.

"You know what day it is tomorrow?" John smiled gently, changing the subject stealthily after a long pause.

"What?" Clara asked, intrigued to hear. John raised his eyebrows at her, shocked she had no idea. She shrugged in return, giggling in confusion.

"Look around!" John exclaimed happily, pointing around the street.

Clara peeped her head around, confused as to what on Earth he was talking about. "I'm confused." She said simply, looking back up to him.

He lowered his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "It's Halloween tomorrow." He smiled, making her open her mouth in quick realisation.

"Oh yeah, it is isn't it?" She laughed, smiling at him.

"So..." John began, looking unsure. "What are you doing tomorrow night, and before you say anything, I'm not suggesting we go trick or treating!" He added in, seeing Clara's eyebrows raise in disapproval.

"I was invited to a party which I was considering going to..." Clara started, before seeing John's face. They both knew that she probably shouldn't go. She had apologised to Olivia for the chips incident very soon after, but everyone knew Olivia was simply waiting to get her back. And none of them would be overly-shocked if she spiked a drink or two. Clara usually wouldn't have cared, but things were slightly different now. Nina didn't mean it in a bad way, but she just wanted to prove Clara wrong.

"But...I think I'll just stay in. You know, have a nice sleep." Clara smiled, making John smile too.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess that I shouldn't disturb you then." He teased, making her giggle.

"Oi you! No way are you not sleeping with me. Halloween alone is a nightmare." She smiled, making John grin too.

"Fine, bossy." He laughed back, prodding her on the nose teasingly.

"And you love it." Clara argued, prodding John's chest in return. He opened his mouth to come up with some start-ass reply, but he just simply closed it again and shrugged.

"That is true." He smiled back, pulling Clara back into their hug which had slightly departed during their conversation.