I never know why. I only know who. (AU)

Chapter 24

Sorry there hasn't been an update in a while it takes time to write this one because it's super complicated (:

When the knock came on Clara's door and they both knew it was Clara's Grandmother outside, John was reluctant to leave, but she insisted he go to avoid the inevitable wrath.

The crossing paths of the woman and the young boy did not seem pretty from Clara's eyes, but then she really did was not looking forward to the moment her Gran sat down beside her and started talking.

"Clara." She whispered softly, placing her hand on Clara's knee, causing the girl to flinch.

"I'm so sorry Gran, please, please don't hate me! I swear, it was an accident and I'm sorry I let you down. Just say you don't hate me! Please, I can't take it anymore!" Clara suddenly screamed out, her tears coming in an onslaught of emotions.

Gran had pulled Clara into her arms in a flash second, hushing her as she attempted to provide some comfort to the clearly hysterical girl. "I could never hate you Clara. Especially not for this."

The girl took a while to calm down and pull away to look into her Grandmother's eyes. "What?" She asked softly, shocked by the words that had just reached her ears.

"Clara, I could never be angry at you for this. Never. Not in the time where you would need me the most. You could be a serial killer and I still wouldn't hate you Clara."

Clara smiled at that, finally finding some comfort in the despair she had just wound herself up into. "But..." She started.h

"But nothing." Gran interrupted. She waited a few moments to think about what to say. "You're father told me everything. How far along you are and all that."

Clara nodded softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want you to be ashame..."

"There's no need to explain yourself to me." Gran hushed, interrupting once more. "I wasn't ever angry with you Clara. Shocked? Oh hell yes, but not angry. I was angry with your father. I don't understand why he was being so cruel to you when you clearly were distraught over it."

Clara looked away again. "I don't blame him for hating me. Anyone would." She mumbled.

"No, he is just acting like a three year old." Gran snapped in anger to her son. She looked away for a moment before turning back to Clara. "I thought it was to do with something he'd told me a few weeks after your Mum died."

Clara looked up, despite the mention of her Mum hurting her like it always did.

"He asked me to come and take you to Blackpool for sixth form. He told me that he couldn't cope with looking at your face everyday when you look so much like Ellie. And he couldn't stand hearing you giggle or laugh like she once did or say anything how she did. He said you were too much like her."

Clara furrowed her brow in surprise.

"I told him to stop being such an ungrateful bastard of course, furious at what he said. Because, there's something you need to know Clara; You are not too much like your Mum, you're just all of her best qualities thrown into one amazing human being. And, Clara, your Mum would have wanted you to be strong and to carry on no matter what."

Clara nodded, knowing it was true. Her Mum was always a fighter. She never gave in when others told her no.

"Although, when I said about great-grandchildren earlier, I was meaning in a few more years time..."

Clara started to giggle slightly, but the laughs turned into sobs once more and she wrapped her arms around her Gran, grateful that maybe she hadn't lost another person in the world who she needed dearly.

"I'm staying here by the way Clara." Gran whispered. "I'll go back to Blackpool on Monday, but by next Friday I'm moving into your spare room. There's no way you're going this alone with someone here for you."

Clara had no words to say to her, but they didn't need to be said out loud. She was more thankful than she'd ever felt before. It may not have been perfect, but it was exactly what she needed.

Clara had finally managed to emerge from her room, although her state of hysterics had caused at least two rounds of sickness from all of her food, which Gran blamed solely on Dave, despite Clara's protests that it was her fault.

After a while of begging on Clara's part, and using the excuse "It's not like I'm going to do something stupid and get knocked up, am I?" John was allowed to stay over in Clara's bed. She just wanted him there that night, and he was really comforting. He was always exactly what she needed.

"It scares me when you get that psyched out." John admitted to Clara as they faced each other in the bed. "That kind of stress isn't going to help the baby, or you."

Clara looked down sorrowfully. "I know." She whispered. "I just...I can't seem to stop them. I feel like I've lost everything."

John shook his head. "Not everything. You haven't lost me."

Clara nodded at that, admitting it to herself. "Don't leave me. Don't get up in the morning and just go."

They both knew it meant more than that. This was her way of asking him to stay alive; her plea that he wouldn't abandon her like her Mum did.

"How could I ever?" John smiled. "You're the only person I want in this world."

She smiled in response, leaning forward to gently kiss his lips. "I want my Mum so much. I really need her right now." Clara admitted, her voice full of regret and hurt.

"I know." John replied simply, knowing there was nothing else that could be said. "I know." He huffed out. His hand absent-mindedly moved to the bump on her stomach under tank top, mapping out the dimensions.

Clara watched as his eyes drifted shut, his hand staying where it was. Once she was sure he had fallen into unconsciousness, she pressed a light kiss to his forehead and whispered, "If I ever lose you, I'll have nothing left."

Her words echoed through the darkness as her eyes drifted shut, their minds dreaming of a place where life wasn't so complicated, and people were able to keep their promises without life getting in the way.