Mirror, Mirror

2.03 King Card

I have a confession. When I found out you were a girl, I cried.

I tried not to; I really did. I knew it was equally likely for me to have a daughter or a son, equally likely for me to die or live another day. I suppose I thought I would be immune to the utter terror of realizing I was going to die. I mean, I've lived so much of my life throwing it away and living for others. What was this inevitable death if not just another sacrifice?

I guess I believed in karma. I gave up my life and autonomy for the good of the world, always trying to do the right thing and be the hero. I thought maybe I'd be rewarded for everything I'd suffered.

But now I'm 22 and pregnant, and I'll never get to be a mother to my own child.

❖

It wasn't long before Starla heard the soft shuff of something landing in her mail pocket near the door. She stopped her pacing and walked over to pull open the mail pocket. Inside, there two items.

The first item was a thick bundle of cream sheets tied together with a red ribbon. Starla immediately recognized the paper's texture and color as matching the rest of the Queen's letters that sat in her desk. Starla felt... a lot of things. She quickly set the bundle aside, not ready to delve into that can of worms just yet.

The second item was the summoning card she'd been dreading since the moment she'd stepped back in her room. It was simple and smooth, wooden with a row of three diamonds engraved into it. The King's card. It was so unassuming, yet it made her instinctively nervous. She only ever received it when things were serious, usually when she was in trouble.

She momentarily entertained the idea of ignoring it and continuing to stay in her room, pretending that nothing had changed. She was still the princess, and her magic would come soon if she just tried a little harder and kept working at it.

Then, she remembered the last time she'd waited long enough for a second King card to be sent to her. It was after she'd attacked one of her teachers and been sent home early. The King normally never raised his voice, but he yelled at her that day. She'd felt scared.

Starla wasn't a kid anymore, but she still knew better than to piss off the actual, literal King who probably had very little reason to keep her around now that he knew she was basically useless.

And so, that's how Starla found herself in the King's office, sitting across the man who had been her father. They might as well have been enemies facing off on opposing sides of a battlefield.

"Well?" Starla said after an uncomfortable amount of silence had stretched between them. The King seemed to be struggling with where to begin.

"I didn't know about Rayna," the King finally said. "Not until yesterday. I just thought you should know."

"Who the fuck is Rayna?" Starla almost said. Instead, she said, "Oh."

"I'm just as upset about this as you are," the King continued. "I can't believe Frostine ruined our lives like this. I had always suspected she'd done something terrible before she died, but I could never figure it out. And that sister of hers was a steel vault about the information."

"Our lives? Do NOT act like we're on the same team here," Starla snapped. Her life was literally crumbling around her.

"Starla, please," the King said in a tired voice that made Starla feel like she was somehow the bad guy here. He always did this. "I know this must be very challenging for you. I know you're upset, and you have every right to be. All I'm asking for is for you to listen."

"Fine," Starla said with smile that was all teeth and no joy. "I'm listening, Your Highness."

"Right. So," the King cleared his throat. "As you know, you are not the Ice Princess. Someone else is. Her name is Rayna." Rayna, Rayna. Starla feverishly chanted the name in her head. The girl who'd stolen her place. Starla could already imagine what this Rayna character was like. Some doe-eyed city girl who'd always dreamt of being a princess, only to find the dream dumped in her lap. Starla bet this girl was pretty—the type of pretty that she was unaware of and thus made her even more so—and kind and good and loved singing and animals. She was the fantasy princess that Starla could never be. Someone who deserved the role. Starla hated this girl already.

"Can we get to the point of this meeting?" Starla interrupted. "Am I staying in the palace or aren't I?"

"Yes," the King said, looking annoyed at Starla's tone. Starla could not give two shits. She had very little empathy for him at this point. "You may stay at the palace and continue life as you have. It would be cruel of us to throw you out." 'Us.' As if he, the King, weren't the one really in charge here.

"Thank you," Starla ground out. She wasn't feeling particularly thankful toward the King right now, but at least she wasn't being left out on the streets. That was a plus. She wouldn't get to be a hero anymore, but... she'd still have her sowing room. Maybe she could work her way up as a fashion designer instead, earn her keep in another way. "If that's all then, I'll be on my way."

"There is another thing," the King said. "You will continue attending Academy classes, as you have been, but as a sort of personal trainer to Princess Rayna. With the True Winter Solstice coming up in just over a year, we need all the help we can get to get her ready in such a short amount of time."

"You're asking me to help the girl who is taking my place?" Starla asked. Unbelievable. "Thank you for letting me stay here, but you can't make me do that. I'll stay out of your way. I won't cause trouble."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice in this," the King said. "I'm under a lot of heat right now Starla. You have to understand. Do you realize how bad it looks for a new Ice Princess to appear with only a year to spare before Solstice? The entire kingdom has been jeopardized by this situation. I need to do what I can to remedy it."

Starla said nothing, just glared at him.

"I am giving you permission to stay here. I can just as easily take that privilege away, by force if necessary," the King continued softly.

As her eyes burned, Starla wished for the millionth time that she had the gift of ice magic, if only to freeze the tears in their place.

"Well?" the King prompted her.

"Well, what?" she said hollowly. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

"You'd get to keep your own room and continue classes at the Academy," the King said, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Nothing would have to change, really. You would just be... helping transfer some of your experience to Princess Rayna. Don't you want to do the right thing?" Starla gaped at him. Was he fucking kidding her? Was she supposed to say thank you to that? How dare he. As if her life were just something to be negotiated.

"You sick fuck," Starla said. She burst to her feet, knocking over the chair as she went. She stomped out of the room and slammed the door. As she did, the King made no move to go after her. He only watched her go with a look of finality, as if he knew she would be back, like she always was.