Mirror, Mirror

2.07 Not Going

I'm a vessel for good, and you will be too. Nothing but a vessel.

I didn't ask for this, and neither did you. I don't want this life for you.

All the expectations, the rules, the utter lack of control. People whispering behind your back, discussing your every detail and flaw, picking you apart like an autopsy. Dissecting you like you're already dead.

And all the pressure. The pressure alone is enough to drive a woman mad.

❖

"Hi, I just got my schedule this morning, and it looks like I'm supposed to be working all day tomorrow even though the Debutante Ball is tomorrow night. I was wondering if that was a mistake? I need at least the evening off, if not the entire afternoon, so Poppy-Anne, Rivero, and I can help with preparations," Starla said. "I just need official permission from you so I can pass the message along to the trainers." She had stopped by the King's office on her way to training, telling Rayna she'd catch up.

"You're not going," the King said without looking up from his work. Starla was dumbfounded.

"I'm not going?" she repeated. "I've been planning to go for months! Poppy, Riv, and I were going to match and everything—"

"You're not going, and that's final," the King said again. "I don't want to argue about this."

"What, are you worried I'll cause a scene? Stir up drama perhaps?" Starla asked, barely suppressing her rage. "Are you worried I'll steal the spotlight from little Miss—"

"DAMMIT STARLA YOU'RE NOT GOING," the King roared, and Starla flinched backwards. The King looked a bit guilty and recomposed himself. In a calmer voice, he explained, "I'm in hot water as it is. Do you know how much of a nightmare it will be to explain your presence there? We need the people to accept their new princess without being reminded of..." he struggled to find a way to finish the sentence.

"Of the mistake that is me?" Starla said in a low voice.

"I didn't say that! That's not fair, Starla. Look, I said I'm not going to argue about this," the King sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes. "For my sake, and your sake, I can't let you go. I wish I could."

"Good thing can't stop me," Starla said defiantly.

"Hopefully, I won't need to," the King said. "As a precaution, I already had the maids confiscate your dress, just in case you were tempted to try to go to the ball anyway."

"You destroyed my dress?" Starla spluttered. "You know how much time and energy I put into that!"

"Of course not," the King said looking offended. "I just put it somewhere safe for now. I'll get it back to you as soon as the ball is over, and you can wear it to another ball."

"You're awful," Starla said quietly, eyes and throat burning.

"I know," the King said, looking away. When he looked up again, Starla had already swept out of the room.

❖

"You're not going to the ball?" Poppy-Anne gawked. She and Rivero had brought all their clothes over to Starla's room to do final prep. "But you were going to look so stunning tonight in that dress. We were all going to match! Can't we just go anyway?"

"The King confiscated my dress," Starla said, her voice empty. She lay on the floor, her paper schedule in shreds around her. She planned to pepper the King's food with it when she got the chance.

"Confiscated as in like, thrown in an open fire?" Poppy-Anne asked, alarmed.

"Confiscated as in we're not getting it back until well after the ball, and not a single palace worker can be bribed out of it," Starla said. "It's gone."

"Oh hell no," Rivero said. "We did not break our backs over this for months just for Uncle Yeh to decide last minute he doesn't want you there."

"Yeah, we're going to go whether he likes it or not. All of us," Poppy declared.

"I don't even want to go anymore," Starla said, curling up in a ball and facing away from her cousins.

"Come on, Starla," Riv said circling back into her view and crouching beside her. "We can't just give up."

"Yeah, we'll just make a new one," Poppy-Anne said.

"We'll just make a new one," Starla repeated. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me," Poppy said. "We'll use part from my dress and Riv's suit, and we'll add it to one of your old ones. We can make it work."

"Yeah, what about that one backless dress project you scrapped last summer?" Rivero said.

"It's a little out-of-fashion, but I suppose it might work," Starla sniffled, sitting up and wiping her eyes. "OK, let's do it."

❖

The following night, Starla and a few maids were in a dressing room helping Rayna prepare for her Debutante Ball. Starla hadn't wanted to help, but it was her chance to get last minute materials for her own outfit without anyone suspecting her.

Starla and Rayna regarded each other in the mirror, Starla admiring her handiwork.

"You look beautiful," Starla said, truthfully.

"I feel miserable," Rayna said with a laugh.

"What do you mean by that?" Starla said, a little more harshly than she'd intended. "This is the night of your life, and you feel miserable? You're so lucky, you know."

"People keep telling me that," Rayna said, tilting her head. "That I'm so lucky to be the Ice Princess. But, I didn't ask for this."

I didn't ask for this, and neither did you.

Starla shivered at the eerie similarity to the dead Queen's words.

"Well, this is what you are," Starla said dismissively. "So play the part."

"Right. Of course, I'll play the part," Rayna said, her expression going carefully blank, and Starla sensed that a wall had closed between them. "Thank you for your help."

❖

"Miss Starla, are you coming?" one of the maids asked after preparing Rayna for the ball had wrapped up.

"I'll close up in here. You go along ahead," Starla said. The maids looked grateful and surprised. Starla supposed she'd never been that kind to them.

After everyone was gone, Starla started hunting down her supplies. Her scissors, her measuring supplies, needles, everything. If she couldn't wear her dress then dammit she would make another.

❖

She met with her cousins later that evening. They'd all collected their supplies and met in Poppy-Anne's room.

When they were done, Starla was pleased with the results. The three of them looked amazing. It wasn't their original vision, but it looked amazing just the same.

"We're gorgeous," Riv said. "It's a little sluttier than what is probably appropriate for a debutante ball, but I think it's perfect."

"I think so too," Starla said with a smile. "It's showtime."