The throne's keeper.

Chapter 35 - Try again.

Anonymous.

"So ? Is he getting any better doc ?"

I ask and he sighs before he gives me a helpless stare.

"We've tried the best that we could, we performed all the tests that we'd think would be related to his condition and retested again just to be thorough, multiple times at that but unfortunately there was nothing we could find... im terribly sorry."

I look down at him again while pipes continue to make rounds in and out of his tiny body. He's eyes tiny hands have completely swollen and i can't even recognize him anymore, he doesn't look like my once so lively boy. A tear strides down my cheek before I look at the docter again.

"So what do we do ? I can't watch my son suffer like this."

"For now, there's nothing that we can medically do, this is beyond our control..."
He pauses before he subtly looks around.

"Off the record, I don't think this is something that modern medicine can fix. I am not allowed to advice my patients against the treatment that we offer within our care but i would be doing a disservice if I wasn't being honest with you... your sons condition isn't going to change if we continue to keep him here, he's only going to get worse... ive seen it happen a lot in my line of work."

I look around before I look at the docter again as I swipe my finger past my cheek.

"So what do I do in the mean time... I don't know anybody in that field of expertise, I've never done this before..."

And I certainly never planned on it. I never thought that I'd ever find myself this desperate to even have to go this route.

"A mother always finds a way...I'll keep him for sometime but I'm going to have to discharge him soon... it's hospital policy."

He says vaguely as he pockets his hand and he stares down at Letho.

"I wish you all the best."
He says with a sincere tone before he looks at me sympathetically and he finally turns to leave.

I take Letho's little hand inside of mine and I place kisses on it before I give his little cheeks a gentle caress.

"Mommy loves you, stay strong for me okay ?... I need you to keep on fighting and I promise that i am going to make all of this go away and your going to be okay again."

I tell him while tears stride down both my cheeks and i burst into more tears.

Why did things have to turn out this way ?

I stay at his bed side for a little while longer before its time for me to drive back home when visiting hours finish while I try to think of better solutions, but what that docter said keeps ringing in my head. I can't believe that I have to go through these lengths to keep my son healthy, to keep my son alive, I've never believed in any of this and I've never believed that this is the right way to fight the bad things that happen in the world, I've always thought that through prayer I can conquer anything and I prayed for my son and I prayed for my marriage but as it seems nothing is coming right.

When I drive into the drive way I see his car parked infront of the garage. I park my car next to his before I quickly grab my bag in the passenger seat and I speed into the house.
I find Mama pouring the rest of her wine bottle into a wine glass before her eyes find mine again.

There's a cork screw on the kitchen counter piercing a fresh cork and a now empty bottle and her face says exactly what I am seeing. I didn't need to ask how much she's drank because the answers are right infront of me.