The throne's keeper.

Chapter 23 - Self care.

Stacy.

"Stace."
He soflty says to me as he walks further into the bathroom and he kneels down next to me.

"I swear I didn't know."
I quickly explain and he nods his head at me and he soflty brushes small strands of my hair away from my face, while sweat, tears and snot run down my face.

"It's okay."
He says reassuringly as his eyes skeem through my face.

"I wish I could have known Siyanda."

"That's okay."

"It's not okay."

"Hey Stace come on, you wouldn't have known and this isn't your fault."

"I should have paid more attention to my body."
I cry further as I look at the baby in my arms again as he continues to cry.

"look at me."
He instructs and I look at him.

"You would have done this differently had you known right ?"

"I would've."
I tell him and he nods his head at me.

"Don't feel guilty over something you can't change."

"What if somethings wrong with him ?"

"Then we are going to get through this together okay, your not alone."
He says and I only stare at him and my heart grows even more painful when I think about that possibility. That If there is something wrong with him it's entirely my fault for my carelessness.

He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand the guilt that has just come over me right now.

I stare at the baby again as I run my hand over his tiny head and I brush his little ear and he starts to calm down.

I hold him over my shoulder and I rub his back and he soon grows quiet. Siyanda wraps a towel around him while the umbilical cord is still connected to us both.

I hear people call us out as they walk further into the house and I stare at the entry way of the bathroom and a female paramedic stands at the door way.

He looks at the baby in my arms and she stares down at my thighs and I look at them too.

There's lots of blood on the floor now.

She quickly walks into the bathroom and the first thing she does is cut the umbilical cord before taking the baby away from me and Siyanda wraps his arms around me now, blood and everything.

He kisses my face and he squeezes me tightly in his arms as I continue to cry uncontrollably.

After what seems like forever he let's go of me again and he grabs his gown and he makes me wear it before picking me up bridal style and we follow the paramedic out after one of the male paramedics examines me.

Siyanda puts me inside of the ambulance together with the baby and they close the doors after the female paramedic assures him that well be okay.

He follows in his car behind the ambulance while we drive to the hospital.
And the drive between our house and the hospital is so weird because it makes this whole situation real.

When we get there, the halls have been cleared and the ward that we are lead to is empty as well and a whole medical team is waiting for us.

I've never gotten used to this life. The life of privilege and luxury and having a whole medical team dedicated just for one person.

I always tell Siyanda that I don't like to be treated like I walk on water and he understood but he's never stopped loving me in that way either.

When they take the baby away for more exams I get scared. I've only spent fifteen minutes with him and already the thought of him not being near me scares me right now. They separate us while the nurses and doctors tend to me. When I ask about the baby they tell me that Siyanda is with him and I just let them do their job.